Blog

Upgrading to a website

2010-02-20T21:57:00.002+08:00

Hi Readers,

I am changing my online "residence" to a website where I find it more customizable (for a noob like me), and more convenient.

Here is the location.

I hope this new service would be good enough for me to stay for a very long time. Lol. To join as a member there, just send me an email!

A friend in need is a friend indeed

2010-02-11T22:01:00.005+08:00

And how true that quote is. In the midst of many friends I still feel loneliness and solitude, which I know is quite oxymoronic to some but all too familiar to some others. Sometimes I think, is it due to expectations that we set that we want them to live up to and blame them for not living up to it but in actual fact, it is us who are the flawed ones for imposing our expectations on them? But surely it is justifiable to have certain limits and thresholds that people cannot cross, or they'll be "condemned to Cold War thereafter" (though some may mention that condemnation is too extreme and overrated)? If so, I think my thresholds are very low and my limits are very narrow. Is it then, alright to give oneself selflessly to the benefits of one's friends within one's limitations and thresholds, but expect some in return?

Being a chemist, let me use a chemical analogy to describe this issue. The abovementioned sounds to me like titration (yeah alright, laugh away). Take monoacid-monobase titration as the simplest example. They are rather contradicting substances because the effects they have are pretty much inverse of each other. I am the acid, and the base destroys me. I have an indicator that will display a sudden change in properties (yeah, like I said, extreme) once the threshold (point of neutralization) has been crossed. So you keep adding base to me and I'm alright at first. Occasionally you see splashes of colour seemingly anticipating the crossing of the threshold, but once swirled and left to settle, it's alright again. Then the point of neutralization is reached. Nothing much happens yet. Then add a tiny droplet of base. Boomz, the colour shows a sharp change. Then you can add as much base as you want, but the colour doesn't go away anymore, it probably will deepen but that's about it. Horrors, the threshold has been crossed and there is no undoing, until you add some acid back, which is representative of the empathy humans feel towards one another.

Ok, end of analogy. Bottomline is, it seems like in the big picture, many people including myself function like this and as similar human beings we often complain about the many minute differences amongst us, which comparatively are quite negligible. Perhaps humans are made to be creatures of complaint. Some animals, on the other hand, are just glad that they can get away from an inflicter, while there are still a few who never forgets, and would strike back with a vengeance as soon as the opportunity arises...

But in any case, the title quote still stands. The three simplest but most difficult tests of friendships and any other relationship are, in my opinion: loyalty, conflict and time. The test of loyalty is the most basic and usually the easiest to pass in the short run. The test of conflicts are difficult, for many a relationship broke down due to a conflict or the excess thereof, and such are very likely due to the damned threshold. But the most difficult to achieve is the test of time. Regardless of how many times loyalty has been broken, how many conflicts have been fought and how many cold wars ensued, as long as it can withstand all of that over time (and end up still positive and without baggage), that is probably the most confirmatory test. And this I feel is really amazing because just too many relationships or friendships have broken down already at the second stage (conflict).

As they say, always guilty until proven innocent.

Well, maybe it's time to stop talking rubbish and start setting standards for myself on how good a friend I wish to be to my friends. Alright, stop thinking of such things at the moment and focus on getting rid of that migraine so you can enjoy your genting trip! Yup, finally going to M'sia for the first time in my life. Lol.

C'est bon!

2010-01-26T19:36:00.002+08:00

J'ai une semaine agréable. Je télécharge un film, "La Belle et la bête", c'est en le français et c'est tres sympa! J'ai un autre film, "Le Dîner de Cons". C'est une comédie mais, je ne comprend pas. :( Je souhaite que mon français est meilleure!

Les nombres, ils sont un peu difficil. A écouter et a parler, c'est tres difficil aussi. Mais a lire et a écrire, c'est un peu plus facile. Je suis desolée, je ne suis pas bonne en français maintenant, mais j'espere pouvoir améliorer rapidement. :)

Regarding current affairs

2010-01-19T18:22:00.003+08:00

As stand-up comedian Dylan Moran said before,

Why do I need to read the papers? Keep myself updated about current affairs? But I'm CURRENTly living now! How "current" can this get?

Well, something like that. You get the gist. We don't need more matters to screw our minds with since we are living in the now, the present, and one nanosecond ago is history.

But of course, that is just a parody, a joke made out of everyday things.

As for me, I don't like reading the papers. Yes they are short snippets of information that is bite-sized, but it's precisely because they are short snippets, that we can't get much useful information from there. It's biased. I don't have a problem with that, no, it's out of human interest and we are non-immune to mistakes anyway. But it's not fully useless though; it's still a good source of one-sided viewpoints and filtered facts to feed the cursory browsing and not-so-suspecting readers' minds, those who just wanna know what happened in the world or locally, and not really give a damn about it. Pretty much you see those who take the news seriously are people who have an active mind and they think and question about various aspects of it rather than absorbing everything and squeezing them out when they're done.

Given a choice (of course, choices are everywhere for you to take), I would choose watching debates. The trickier the topic, the more interesting it is. Yeah, apart from the kick one gets when you watch them squabbling. But from debates we can see two or more viewpoints, we can learn more about the interests of each party, and then based on our own judgment, decide for ourselves whose stand we choose to take. I don't know, I just feel happier watching a well-thrashed out debate rather than the news. I am not too fond of reading the news.

So unless they are announcements on fully factual and objective events or the like (for example "there will be a concert at xxx theatre this sunday at 3pm" -- but then even that may be prone to typo as well), don't assume that everything the newspapers say is right. There is no right or wrong.

Last day of holidays

2010-01-10T11:24:00.003+08:00

There is one thing I must take note: never put something till a later date/time. Because in the meantime I would either forget about it, pretend to forget about it, or simply not do it at all. Strange thing is that I might get it done in the end after all, but it's still not a very good habit eh... in the end I would be rather half-hearted and without the initial vigour.

And there's one thing about msn nicks, facebook statuses and tweets. What is the point of them, exactly? I fall victim to them as well. People post wonderful quotes from some famous dead person, emo statements about how sucky their lives are, random stuff like "I'm wearing my tweety-bird PJs now", song lyrics, "I need to do this. Like now." I mean, yeah well, that's a nice quote, your life does suck but so does mine, just face it manz, who cares about your pyjamas, what is that song for, are you singing it, and okay, do what, go and do it for goodness sake! It's quite funny when you really think about them now, because if that is a platform for you to tell the world your thoughts,... well it's just rather funny anyway. Actually eventually, no one really takes such things seriously. We log in to facebook or twitter, we see our tens or hundreds of friends (some we never even talked to in the past 10 years or so) posting snippets of their lives (alright, I don't give a damn, but let me post mine now too!), and then we realise there ain't no notifications for today, then we log out. Probably something big-sounding happens, like "Oh I am so sad today" and when people comment or IM you asking what happened, the reply goes "oh it's nothing, i'm fine. Really."

But like I say, I fall victim to that too. Lol.

Anyway! School is starting tomorrow, after only one week of holidays. But it's actually alright after all, because I slept more, finished my report of around 50 odd pages after staying at home and gluing myself to my macbook for two whole days, cleared up my room a bit, met up with old friends, learnt how to cycle a bit, got my back and arms burnt under the hot sun, and entertained my baby cousin! Hahaha... It was a rather nice week and I wish the break was longer (I really dread going back to school, ugh). I love waking up when the sun is bright and high in sky instead of when it's barely rising!

New hairstyle for the new year

2010-01-03T00:10:00.003+08:00

I cut off my long hair! It's short throughout now, but just to make a note, this is my ideal style of hair, two pictures which I found online:

Cool right? xD

Disclaimer: The girl isn't me!

R.I.P. The Rev, Jimmy Sullivan

2009-12-30T21:36:00.004+08:00

It is with great sadness and heavy hearts that we tell you of the passing today of Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan. Jimmy was not only one of the world's best drummers, but more importantly he was our best friend and brother. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Jimmy's family and we hope that you will respect their privacy during this difficult time.

Jimmy you are forever in our hearts.
We love you.

M Shadows, Synyster Gates, Zacky Vengeance and Johnny Christ

From http://www.avengedsevenfold.com/

You will be missed...
Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan. Born February 10, 1981. Died December 28, 2009. Rest In Peace.

From http://www.mychemicalromance.com/

One of the world's best drummers, indeed. He is a great talent. That is without a doubt. He died at a very young age of 28. He was my one and only idol drummer ever, and he inspired me to an enormous extent to want to learn drums, though I haven't started to learn it yet.

At first I saw it on Frankie's twitter messages, and I thought it was a short form of someone else's name. I totally forgot about it soon after. Then today after I got home I had a nagging feeling, so I googled "The Rev" to view some of his drum solos. Then I saw on the very first search result: "James Owen Sullivan (February 10, 1981 – December 28, 2009)", did a double take, and launched an entire search for the news. It was real.

The cause was unknown, but it was a coroner's case. (http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-9259-Celebrity-Headlines-Examiner~y2009m12d29-Jimmy-Sullivan-The-Rev-found-dead)

In any case, A7X will be very different without him. He was the heartbeat of the band, he wrote awesome songs, and he completely changed my perception of noisy metal music.

Here is a song written by him:

Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen
so unsure but it seems, ’cause we’ve been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

I see a distant light, but girl this can't be right
Such a surreal place to see so how did this come to be
Arrived too early

And when I think of all the places I just don't belong
I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far

I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here

A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain
Can leave this place but refrain, ’cause we've been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

This peace on earth's not right (with my back against the wall)
No pain or sign of time (I’m much too young to fall)
So out of place don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign
I've made up my mind

Gave me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye
Please understand I have to leave and carry on my own life

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might
take me back inside when the time is right

Loved ones back home all crying ’cause they're already missing me
I pray by the grace of God that there's somebody listening
Give me a chance to be that person I wanna be
(I am unbroken; I’m choking on this ecstasy)
Oh Lord I'll try so hard but you gotta let go of me
(Unbreak me, unchain me, I need another chance to live)

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might
take me back inside when the time is right

Hope he finds peace in afterlife.

It's Xmas eve!

2009-12-24T14:56:00.003+08:00

Half day of work today! Was able to go home at 12.30pm and it's such a nice feeling to be home at this time on a weekday. xD Imagine everyone squishing around doing last minute shopping while people like me are slacking away at home... the weather is cool, there'll be music later, and NO WORK TOMORROW! Awesomeness!!!

Haven't had the motivation to blog much recently. Don't ask, it's a come-and-go kinda thing, one moment I'm on a blogging spree and another I'm not. Swinging back and forth. Anyway, my tummy still isn't in the best of states, and my head isn't either, I'm just lacking energy everyday and losing concentration every minute. Sounds bad eh? I think it's the weather. Never mind. I've decided to not mind the ipod touch issue for now, it works as long as I don't turn it off, just put it to sleep mode. On top of that, I still need to finish writing my french notes, which have been left off because I didn't have time to complete it last week (and once something is left off, it'll be quite a while before it is resumed lol). Then there's a card to make, a report to write, music to think of, boxing day performance to settle.

Speaking of which, it was the first time I jammed till MIDNIGHT on Saturday!!! It was really fun, the entire volunteer room to ourselves, just making music, so on and so forth... I wanna do that again! Anyway IMH isn't exactly very far from my place. It's rather secluded yes, but if there are people to walk out with me or send me home it'll be pretty feasible.

There are movies to watch too! In cinemas, at home... a colleague sent me some nice movies which I haven't had the chance to watch yet. And there are so many new movies showing now. Hmm... will I have the time to watch all of them? xD Besides I need to fill up 3 more movies to be able to auto-renew my GV card for free! But there are only... 7 days left! :S

A problematic ipod touch

2009-12-17T19:22:00.002+08:00

Okay I encountered some problems with the new ipod touch. Firstly, the applications sometimes can't load: when I press it, the load screen comes out for less than one second and disappears, and poof! I'm back to ipod home page. Yucks. I found solutions online: download a new application and install it, it'll work fine again. Sure I did that, and yes it worked. BUT!!! It couldn't connect to wireless@sg at my workplace so the entire day, from the moment I woke up all the way until I got home again, i COULD NOT USE ANY OF THE APPLICATIONS I DOWNLOADED!!! Boohoo... Both the app crashes and the wireless problem thing seem to be a problem for a few other users as well, and yeah it sucks. I've emailed an Apple reseller for help and I'm waiting for a reply. Hope to get it fixed, if it's fixable. But I won't say that Apple products suck just because of this problem; it's probably a bug that they haven't gotten around to fixing yet (iphones don't seem to have such problems though... weird).

My new ipod touch!

2009-12-16T19:18:00.005+08:00

My uncle got the 8GB one by mistake... I wanted the 32GB one, but it's okay, I still got an ipod touch in the end. YAYS!!! I wanted to blog via my pod but then it's a little troublesome cuz the touchpad keyboard is so SMALL. Kept pressing on the wrong keys. Nevertheless, I was rather surprised that he actually bought it for me but it's really sweet of him. Now I can save up 300 odd dollars and use it to buy other stuff (it's one module's worth of French lessons manz...)! :D There're just too many stuff I want...

Anyway I haven't been blogging for a week. No idea why I'm so tired these days. It shouldn't be, cuz at work there isn't much left to do and I'm pretty much slacking a lot of time away (ssshhh!). I've still got the report to do but first there are tons of info to be typed out first before I can really do much. But at least I've started... 1% of it? Better than nothing eh! I've finished all lab work as of today and for the remaining days it's just testing for stability once every two or three days. Not a lot to do. Which is good! I totally didn't feel like working anymore ever since exams ended. :/

IMHope's gonna have a LIVE BAND WITH EFFECT FROM DECEMBER 2009 manz! On Sunday we jammed for around 5 hours and it was damn FUN!!! Jamming is just so fun, even if it's just casual playing of instruments. Music is awesome when made together! Kinda looking forward to the performance on the 26th. Have I ever said that my lifetime ambition is to be a musician? No? Well I've always wanted to do something related to music but it's always killed by things like mainstream schooling and work. -_-" So I haven't really gotten the chance to catch up with music in great depth so I can only content myself with being really envious of successful bands and musical groups. :(

When I was a little kid I started learning piano and so I wanted to be a great pianist. In secondary school I joined the school's symphonic band and thus I wanted to be part of a wind ensemble playing first clarinet (not to mention excelling in MEP too). And in JC I joined the piano ensemble and then I wanted to be a singer/composer (initially), and then a rockstar (towards the end of JC). And then my rockstar dream persisted all the way till today. LOL. Fat hope to make it big in Singapore but I believe there is no harm cultivating my liking for music, is there? In uni, during the matriculation fair, I was so tempted to join the original music club thingy after hearing that they jam together (but of course I didn't). And on top of all those, ever since secondary school I've made up my mind to COLLECT musical instruments. I must be crazy but right now in my inventory there's already an upright piano, an electric guitar, a classical guitar, a recorder (I think it's still around) and two dizi's. I'm so gonna get more! Well guess that explains a lot. I've veered towards other ambitions as well but eventually my secret dreams (now no more a secret) have always been something related to music. Shall I take the first step? Bon, c'est parti!

Alright so... Xmas and New Year is coming soon, which means there will be some half days and some holidays coming up... looking forward to those! Can stay at home and rot mwahahahaha...

ROCK BAND!!!

2009-12-06T00:47:00.005+08:00

I played rock band for the first time... AND I LOVE IT!!!! So far so good, but I don't really know most of the songs. Old school stuff, except for one Muse song, which was the first song I attempted. Felt encouraged to sing more after that. Then we changed to the other console and there were more songs I knew there so I sang MORE. Lol! It turned out alright after all!!! I never really dared to sing but today (or rather, yesterday) it was alright because I guess no one could hear me anyway. xD And the drums was so fun also!!!! :D

I wish I would invest in a console myself but there wouldn't be time nor people to play it with me. xD If i bought a set I'd definitely get the rock band world tour version (think there are more songs I know in the playlists) and upgrade to some Avenged Sevenfold custom songs.

I would love to play again. :)

Re-organizing...

2009-11-29T23:52:00.003+08:00

Seriously, I don't know why I love getting organizers or notebooks for, when I can't seem to be able to even organize my things properly. And I'm not really regularly updating my organizer, nor referring to it everyday for the agenda. That SERIOUSLY needs to change, because an organizer would be a really BIG help for someone like me, whose short term memory is slowly decreasing in size, and the summoning of any kind of memory, whether short term or long term, seems to be getting more and more difficult. I hope it's just a psychological barrier and not a real physical problem.

I've got an organizer for next year already, it was given to me for my birthday, and it sucks because it's so nice that I am hesitant of destroying it with my ugly handwriting. I'm still contemplating whether to use it or not next year. Well I have around one month left to decide upon it. :P But then again not using it would mean it's a waste of money and effort of the person who gave it to me, because it would either end up collecting dust, being given away, turning yellow, or discarded because there isn't space to keep it. That's sad! (Well so maybe I would use it after all...)

So, other than my memory, another thing that has been bugging me is the incessant lethargy and slight dizziness/fuzziness that shrouds me. I am rather pissed off with it, but more with myself because I don't know how I can get rid of it! I've already reduced the number of tuition lessons, relaxed more, have less to study... is it the excess use of the physical being without sufficient and regular rest coupled with the lack of use of the brain, or is it the excess use of the brain to think of things coupled with the lack of exercise in the physical being? Or is it both scenarios? I wish to find out about that... Otherwise, watching TV makes me tired, watching movies makes me tired, playing computer games makes me tired, going out shopping makes me tired... I don't know how this happened, and I don't know how to counter it. This would probably sound like I'm a super old woman, but I'll still say that I really wish I could regain the vitality of yester-years...

On a lighter note, I've gone to help take care (more like: entertain) baby Travis on Friday and Sunday. And mind you, entertaining a baby is no easy or relaxing job. Fortunately he smiles quite a lot, or I'll feel like I'm not reciprocated. He used to be rather afraid of me, probably due to my long hair (cuz most of the women in my famile have short hair), but nowadays he smiles quite a great deal when I make funny faces at him. So cute! :D

EXAMS ARE OVER

2009-11-26T23:18:00.003+08:00

This is my second last chance to experience exams in NUS, and it was rather nice experience: two papers in a single day, and THAT'S IT! BOOMZ! FINISHED!!! Woots!

Next step is to review the things I am supposed to do, want to do and will be doing. I like this feeling, the feeling of some sort of liberation which would lead to freedom of time to do things. I like to know what I'm expecting. Maybe I'm a boring person in that sense... but if things get me by surprise, if it's mild it's alright, but if it affects my stability in a certain aspect I'd be feeling flustered, and I don't like being flustered. You'd probably see me go slightly quieter than normal, tense up a little, straight-faced with a slightly distant look in my eyes... and when I settle down and relax I'll start whining and complaining because the tensity is really bad for health if bottled up. :) So actually when I whine and complain it's a form of sharing (and be glad you're someone I'd share it with) and vent for me as well, because I always emerge from it pretty unscathed and cheery in the end, whether briefly or for long-term. :)

When there is incoming free time with nothing much planned for that, sudden unexpected piles of work is alright. I would probably have taken it all up without considering much whether I would be able to finish or not. I would probably end up either squeezing my time so tightly in order to finish them. But then I hate it when I already can't finish ongoing work and I am suddenly piled with other work that I need to do concurrently. One thing at a time manz...

But never mind, that is that. Now, the most important thing is to take a breather and start planning what I'd be doing for the rest of this year! :)

Firstly, something which I have chucked to the border separating conscious and semi-conscious state of mind, is Project Rainbow. Probably due to the lack of "virtual memory", it has been pretty difficult to load and process, much less think about possible improvements and modifications. Now, there is likely more time to think about it and start to resume plans. :)

Secondly, is the final report, which I believe I can type it during my free time at work. The only difficulty is probably analyzing the tons of data that I've collected over the months, and putting them into something coherent and related.

Thirdly, I need to meet up with friends, reconnect with myself and my personal needs, bring back music into my life, bring back reading into my life. One sad thing about life here is that there always seems to be more important things to do during one's free time than reading or playing music. The last book I completed was roughly one semester ago, and the last time I really played more than one hour of piano at one sitting was... I can't remember. And that is really sad. I applaud those who are able to juggle reading with studies and/or work, because I haven't really been able to do it. Nowadays, I feel a heavy inclination to just doze off, switch off or stone after reading a few sentences (probably explains my retardation in rate of studying), so it becomes pretty difficult to stay awake for long enough to read substantially. Books and music are intellectual food, and probably I always seek pretty much brainless activities like facebooking, casual online chatting and random browsing to relax the mind instead of adding more stimulants. :P

Speaking of online chats... I am totally not a phone person, much to the surprise of a few people (I have no idea why). I never had the habit of talking over the phone for ages, and I wonder how some people are able to do that. Firstly, holding a receiver to your ear is tiring enough, and it prevents you from using one hand already (sorry, I'm not so fond of speaker calls, earphones, not am I able to cleverly hold the receiver between my shoulder blade and lower jaw). Then sometimes reception is not good or the sound is distorted so you can't fully hear what the other end is saying. At least in person, you could guess by observing lip movements; on msn, you could refer to words if you missed them out previously. Then there's the lack of observing body language. For example if there is a brief moment of silence, in person, you would probably be aware when the other person starts to want to speak up, so you let him/her speak it first. On the phone there isn't such observable body language, how to guess? Then there's the lack of ability to see the person's facial expressions for interpretation of stuff. Then there's listening to the noises in the background of the other person, and you hear strange or sudden noises but can't check them out by yourself. Besides, I'm not a very conversational person. You can start on a topic, I probably will have comments on it, so there is some sharing involved here, but I'm pretty bad at starting topics. And well, there are other disadvantages also, which I don't feel like mentioning here, because I'm tired. But yeah, in person I guess I'm not such an amicable person after all. Maybe it's due to the wall...

Tomorrow

2009-11-25T20:49:00.003+08:00

THE END IS APPROACHING

No, no, wait for it...

(after tomorrow... i can do rainbow, the report, readings... the RRRRs!!!!)

I wish, in this brief moment in time, that time would pass faster than I expect, though I'm behind mugging schedule... I can't care much anymore, I just want these two stupid modules to be gotten over as quickly and painlessly as possible!!!

But then again~~~ there's only one day of exams in total, how awesome is that! :D

Relaxing Sunday

2009-11-22T11:30:00.003+08:00

Haven't had this feeling for a long time already: It's a full day at home, I'm feeling rather relaxed, no tuition to rush to, no piano to rush to, no work or school to have to wake up early and attend... There is some personal time, some space to do things slowly and steadily. I used to rush home from whatever activity I have, and study/use the computer for a while... and upon looking at the time, it's 5pm already. Today I wake up, chatted with mum, played a little piano, studied a little... and it's only 11.30am! Still half a day to go! No mad rush, that is the most important thing. I like this feeling. Damn, it's luring me to give up everything just to have this feeling everyday. LOL. Do they live like that in Europe? Even in the cities? If so then that would so totally be the place for me manz...

2012: the movie

2009-11-18T20:01:00.010+08:00

I think it's great, that's for sure. There are many mixed reviews on the internet, some praising it like it's the best movie ever, some flaming it like it should never have been made... I always try to look on the good side of movies, because firstly, I believe there is immense effort put in by everyone behind the scenes, and the actors on screen too. That alone should deserve some appreciation, at least. Secondly, we all usually watch a movie because we heard it's good, and we DO actually watch it because we are seeking some entertainment. So why cringe and complain that it was a waste of your money just because it wasn't up to your expectations? Unless it is so horrid that you really feel like walking out of the door half an hour into the movie. If that is the case, please do so and don't sit throughout the entire movie and STILL insist on complaining that it's a waste of your time and money! Because you CHOSE to let it waste your time and money.

Regarding the movie, I feel that the plot is pretty predictable. What with heavy cars flying across an enormous crack in the Earth's crust and still being able to land safely on the other side, men being able to hold their breaths for a seemingly impossibly long length of time, everything occurring "just-in-time" so that everyone survives instead of drowning and dying...

But then again what do you expect? A fireball to hit the driver's seat of the truck so that the main character dies? The plane to fall into the cracks so that there's no more protagonist and it's the end of the movie? Or drowning and sacrificing himself so there isn't any "happy ending"? Or the pipes getting jammed and the entire ship sinks and everybody dies? Which would you prefer? I guess eventually the former option would receive far less criticism. Come on, aren't movies really mostly about drama and exaggeration? And, unlike some (horror?) movies, this movie wasn't advertised to be "OUT OF THE BOX" or "NOTHING YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE", at least, I don't think it was. So well, disaster movies... expect pretty much the same plots, same endings, and so on.

That is why I only deducted 0.5 points of out 5 with regards to the plot. To leave it room for improvement, and there wasn't a need to put it down too much anyway.

In any case, there were brilliant effects that were wonderful to watch. Before watching the movie I actually caught a snippet of its making and there really seemed to be quite a lot of effort put in to make everything as realistic as possible. Take for example, the dropping cars and the earthquakes. Some critics snubbed the likelihood of sinking lands and immense tsunami, they say the neutrino effect (or whatever it was) was totally unrealistic, and the disasters were rather impossible. But what I feel is that it's rather like a mirror of our current situation, just magnified a thousand times in simulation of an apocalypse. I mean, we DO have tsunami big enough to create a large death toll. When massive plots of land slide into the ocean, it isn't unlikely that the waves would multiply in magnitude and create gigantic apocalyptic ones. Great earthquakes are increasing in numbers these days, and yes, it is possible that earthquakes and tsunamis occur together, according to my very limited knowledge. I don't know much about tectonic and pole shifts though, I am neither an astrophysicist nor a geologist, but the concepts sound pretty cool to read up about. More background info for Project Rainbow as well!

Oh well, in any case, this is just a movie, based on human imagination. There is no need to panic about the end of days come Dec 21, 2012. When it comes, it will come. There is no need to insist that whatever seen in the movie WILL occur in real life on that day itself. Though realistic, the effects were all computer generated. Yes, I admit I am sometimes a victim of my own imagination, feeling inclined to believe whatever is shown, but more importantly we should take a step back and think (what if this movie was never made?) so that we can differentiate reality from imagination.

There is no need to criticize the logic and accuracy of the scientific facts presented in the film, because, well, it's human imagination! And imagination is full of flaws and errors! Besides, this isn't even a documentary, why the need to be so deadly accurate and all...? There is a threshold, of course, for the movie to be as realistic as it can be, so that the audience can be easily immersed into it, but come on, there are even more unrealistic ones (personal opinion) like alien invasions, alien abductions, discovery of new worlds via portals... etc. I can enjoy those, because I don't take the facts seriously, so why not this one, which seems more probable than all those? Sure, it can be a point of discussion if you feel the facts aren't right, but I feel it shouldn't be used to determine whether a movie is good or not. But I guess I could pretty much comment that if someone were to exit the cinema concluding that the scientific facts are inaccurate, thus the movie cannot be credible and realistic, does that mean this person actually came to watch it to look for real, solid facts, and a movie that will really predict accurately the probable likelihood of what is to come in future? If so, doesn't that make the person rather... silly?

And for overly-serious people, this movie doesn't necessarily serve as a warning of what's to come; if there was any warning required at all, it will most probably take the form of official appeals and documents rather than some source of entertainment. Speaking of which, I watched this movie for want of some good entertainment, being attracted by the CG that the trailer advertised, and I am immensely satisfied. Very entertaining.

This really reminds me of Project Rainbow. I would love to see it on screen, but it has yet to take form and shape. Hmm... shall work on it once exams are over! This movie, along with Muse's new album, is rather good driving forces for me to resume the project!

When life gets too busy...

2009-11-12T21:18:00.004+08:00

I am not very observant. Please, if ever there is anything needing my attention, bring it straight to me and throw it right into my face. Explicitly. I don't like guessing. I don't like playing games. Call it impatience if you would, but it is such a time waster, eventually. Cut to the chase, do it straightaway, everyone's happy. Then we can spend more time accomplishing other stuff in the time we'd otherwise have spent giving or guessing meaningless riddles. And in the first place, even before you make a move, please be at least 75% sure. Seriously manz. Time is precious. Don't waste it.

Sigh. Maybe I'm just too tired these days. I start to rant easily, I get pretty much more sensitive to certain things than usual. Yesterday, I really, really felt like kicking the door of someone's lab after receiving baseless comments from him, which were generated out of pure self-entertainment on his part. Alright I admit I was rather irritable at that time. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been very much affected by such comments; my default reaction would normally be "mildly amused". But there are things I don't really like people commenting about. Two of which are "you're stupid" and "you don't seem to have been doing much work". Especially when the latter comes after one's had an entire day of non-stop work, rushing from one lab to another, running test after test, feeling totally fatigued and nearly being unable to finish the jobs on time.

Oh well, I've dealt with it by complaining to friends, and that makes things so much better. That probably resulted in people thinking that I'm always whiny and emo, but I don't care, I feel much better after that anyway. And be glad I am ranting about it to you, because "ignore" means either of two things from me: "danger, please buzz off, you're invading my personal space" or "I'm probably busy and if I'm not, it means I have nothing interesting to say to you, or at least, it is not convenient for me to talk right now". Actually, I hardly ignore people. If I ever do, it's likely to be a case of extreme "danger, please buzz off". But usually even in such cases I am just curt and deliberately being not very conversational. Yes, you can say I am evil, but that's the way it is, not only for me, but for many other people out there too.

But then again, I'm not a very conversational person to begin with. I can talk about anything under the sun with friends on msn (and I mean ANYTHING under the sun, if you're nice enough to talk to about them) but I can find nothing at all to say when we all meet up in person. I'm not very social. You could ask me to lead and I'll rise up to the occasion, but when everyone's clicking well and engrossed amongst themselves, I retreat. Yeah it's kinda weird I know, but that's how I have always been, pretty much. Then again, at least I do show willingness to be befriended. I am not a cold person. Just someone who doesn't know how to behave in front of people. Maybe it's an "only child" syndrome?

Anyway regarding the colleague, now I'm pretty alright about it. I just need some rest and a garbage bin and most things would turn out pretty cool in the end. Lol. Most of the time. I'm pretty absolute in that sense.

~ ~ ~

Played badminton with WB, JH, JW, WQ, SQ, WK and Angie on Tuesday. It's been a little less than a year since I've played badminton, and on that day it felt like good workout. Two full hours of badminton! I'm not very sporty and evidently my skills are rather mediocre, but it still felt good anyway. Doing sports games with friends (excluding running, gym or the like) is great fun! It started to ache only around this morning, and by evening today I was already having difficulty walking without cringing. Lol! Result of lack of frequent exercise. I hope to meet up with the same group (or more) for a few more games! If possible!

Exams are coming soon, and above I was just talking about time-wasting, yet here I am wasting time. But am I really wasting time? In my current fatigue, would I have been able to study productively anyway, or would I be better off slacking here? By asking this question, do I already know the answer, or is it a problem with my own willpower? I can never seem to differentiate it properly. Pressurized. But speaking of studies, really, I took such a redundant module. I skipped so many lectures, didn't study much, did poorly for midterms and the report... it was as good as not taking it at all. But in order to pass I would have to study it for the finals as well, and I already don't have enough time for the more important module. Sigh, what a bother. I know this is not laziness. This time, yes, I am at least 75% sure that I am not lazy. Because I DO want to study! I just don't have the time and energy!

There were other things I would like to blog today, but out of sheer fatigue I shall take my leave at this point. To be continued next time.

I am finally 21...

2009-11-07T22:21:00.003+08:00

... it was pretty much like any other birthday, just less exciting because I was working for one third of the day. Eeek. What a waste to have to work on one's birthday! Lol. But I was pleasantly surprised by my intern friends with a cake during lunch, and in the evening there was a two-serving large bowl of mee sua! A pity I couldn't finish it! It was simply a LOT. Woots! And fruitcake too!

Happy birthday to me, and at least I know this time who truly cares for me.

Today French lesson was pretty interesting; we talked about artistes in France. Musicians, painters, sculptors, poets, writers... Realised I hardly know any. Nor remembered many. But in any case, I learnt of a few today. Most of them I've heard of their names before, but know/remember none of their works. Most of those listed are painters and sculptors. Pity I don't know much about them, but I'm currently not very interested in them either. French music and literature, maybe, but that's just about all. Speaking of which, I could try reading Le Petit Prince! Hope I can understand umm... at least 50% of it? Which I highly doubt... Anyway, Googling it, I finally realised the impact of that story. It is rather tremendous, I would say. I am really so gonna read it. Followed by Les Miserables.

I was just wondering if I should get the French version of the two books, but decided upon getting the English version first, then switch to French when my knowledge of the language is at level 2. LOL.

And speaking of books, I bought a new book today, it's called "Introduction to the Psychology of Music". It should be rather interesting, I would say. It shall be my snack at random times! :) "Snack" because nowadays I fall asleep barely 5mins after reading something, or lying down in bed. I don't know why, nor do I really care. It sure beats tossing and turning around in bed like I used to do JC and before, not being able to sleep immediately and having loads of junk thoughts in my mind. -_-" It screws with the brain. But nowadays, the lack of thoughts screws with the brain also. xD Bottomline: too much of anything isn't really good at all.

Impending headaches

2009-11-02T22:25:00.002+08:00

Alright it's likely to be the weather nowadays that is causing US to have these headaches. US because I'm not the only one, it seems like many other people are getting these too. Drink plenty of water!

Extremely...

2009-10-29T23:08:00.003+08:00

... tired. Lol. These days I can't seem to wake up at 6.20am on time. Always end up waking up at 6.30am. But it's just as well, because I'll always miss the before-seven-am 105 bus, only to wait 15mins for a 105A (which doesn't go all the way to my workplace, it stops halfway at Toa Payoh), and then another 10-15mins for 105. Yeah you may ask why I don't just leave the house earlier or later. I don't leave earlier because (blame it on Murphy's Law) the few times I did so, 105 came EARLIER as well. And I missed it. In the end I had to wait even longer for the next one. And I don't leave later because I always bore the hope that I would happen to be one minute early (and catch the earlier bus). LOL okay this is rather silly. But I don't like rushing in the mornings. Anyway I don't leave later because I know I'll start dragging... and dragging... until I am really late for work. Bad habit, I know! But anyway I wake up later than usual these days. So I leave the house later as well. But maybe it's the "morning" thing. Everything is just blurred and hazy, until well, until probably late morning. Haha!

And as for sleeping, I am sleeping 5mins earlier than the day before everyday for the past week, yet it still seems insufficient. Probably an accumulated thing... but accumulated from what? From what? Lol. Okay never mind I shan't bother myself too much with thoughts. I'll just go to sleep... like

(French term 2 is starting this Saturday, no more tuition for one kid, gonna be more relaxed! and self study module is finally picking up a little speed)

now.

Retrospect

2009-10-25T00:10:00.002+08:00

This isn't dwelling on the past, but have you ever gone back to your old posts and read them?

It is a very interesting experience. It reminds you of things past, and looking back at them you form a different perspective on them. I never remembered myself being such a complaint-queen in the past (not too long ago, in fact, just earlier this year). I always thought me then and me now are exactly the same person. This particularly paragraph from a post in March screamed out to me:

"It was said never to blame others for your plight. So here I am blaming myself. I'm not blaming school for being so stressful. I'm not blaming others for imposing expectations on me. I'm just blaming myself for not living up to my own expectations. And boy what a horrible feeling that is."

It brought back indescribable feelings of nostalgia. Guess I don't have to explain much on that quote. But if I were in a better state than now it probably would not have screamed out to me. It's all relative, all relative.

As the exams draw nearer

2009-10-23T23:41:00.004+08:00

Okay constant readers, as the exams draw nearer you'll probably be expecting more blogposts from me. It's just a habitual thing. The more stressed I get, the more I need to de-stress, and the more I'll be looking for distractions to lighten my mood. :) Blogging is a nice way to do so.

To James, thank you very much, and to and to those out there who still haven't gotten the point, just wanna let you know that my mindset now is bent on "emo". Regardless of whether I'm positive or negative about things, I am still emo. To quote a friend who left a tag on this issue some time ago: "Cos emo is considered a derogatory term to some, but if it's meaningful introspection, then why not?"

The word "emo" and all its associated meanings has been messed up enough. Now there is no right or wrong definition to it, and I guess in that way it is up to the individual to interpret it. I want to keep it general, and according to my own preferences, at least for now, one doesn't have to be depressed and down to be "emo". "Emo" could be short for "emotive", "emotional" (not in a bad way). It's just like how the word "nice" has no longer the meaning it originally had:

nice

c.1290, "foolish, stupid, senseless," from O.Fr. nice "silly, foolish," from L. nescius "ignorant," lit. "not-knowing," from ne- "not" (see un-) + stem of scire "to know." "The sense development has been extraordinary, even for an adj." [Weekley] -- from "timid" (pre-1300); to "fussy, fastidious" (c.1380); to "dainty, delicate" (c.1405); to "precise, careful" (1500s, preserved in such terms as a nice distinction and nice and early); to "agreeable, delightful" (1769); to "kind, thoughtful" (1830). In 16c.-17c. it is often difficult to determine exactly what is meant when a writer uses this word. By 1926, it was pronounced "too great a favorite with the ladies, who have charmed out of it all its individuality and converted it into a mere diffuser of vague and mild agreeableness." [Fowler]

"I am sure," cried Catherine, "I did not mean to say anything wrong; but it is a nice book, and why should I not call it so?" "Very true," said Henry, "and this is a very nice day, and we are taking a very nice walk; and you are two very nice young ladies. Oh! It is a very nice word indeed! It does for everything." [Jane Austen, "Northanger Abbey"]

Source: http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=nice&searchmode=none

That said, well... I'm really totally fatigued now, after a day of work and an evening lecture. I shall go to sleep. Lol.

Hallelujah

2009-10-21T21:07:00.003+08:00

Spent two hours yesterday typing an 840-word long feedback email to the course department. As I am not that good with words I had to read and reread the email and check for typo, grammar and reduced aggression before sending.

I am a perfectionist in my own sense, therefore it needed to be checked, to the best of my linguistic and grammatical knowledge. And because it might be forwarded word-for-word to the prof-in-charge, I had to ensure minimal aggression and good language (at least) was displayed in it. Aggression is too easily achieved and rather difficult to control when you are sending criticisms and suggesting advice based on your own opinion, and it might still be evident without you realising it. Ange often consults me on such matters, because she is a rather aggressive person (she said so herself, I didn't realise, but come to think of it, yeah it's kinda true lol) and had absolutely no idea why and how she should tone down her statements. Add a touch of hedging and pinch off extreme words. That might just do the trick. Learnt that in a very useful course (SP1202) as well as all my job experiences, but it takes time for it to grow in you. I am not saying though that I am perfect. Maybe I hedge too much. Maybe I am still being aggressive. I don't claim myself to have reached that level of proficiency where I am fully confident of my knowledge and abilities (there we go again... constantly on the road of improvement, that it may seem like I'm lacking confidence. -shrugs-).

In any case, the feedback was requested by the prof, and being part of the course I thought I should do my part. So I decided to give the matter more thought and said my piece. In the end I was rather pleased with it. It was my first time writing such a long feedback email and feeling good about the suggestions I made (with substantial reasons, alright!). Lol!

~~~

I would have given more thought to the colours issue and contributed to the discussion (or rather, a debate) but I am totally tired out after an entire hectic day at the labs. It isn't in full-drive like it was three weeks ago, but surely tiring enough. I used to have time to clear emails but now I hardly get the chance to sit in front of the computer! I'm currently monitoring 3 projects and embarking on a new, highly confidential one, while the other interns are already completing their one or two projects. The natures of my projects aren't as tedious as the others', but the amount of work required, and subsequently the amount of data to be analysed, is really quite a lot. I really have no idea on how to start on my final report. Never mind. It is something to be thought about after exams. Hehe!

Speaking of exams, I strongly believe there are about 1000 slides (no, I'm not exaggerating, I'm serious) that we need to study for the self-study module. Imagine a newly-bought sheaf of A4 printing paper? Add in half that thickness to that stack (that makes it 1.5 times the original thickness, in case you can't visualize). Multiply approximate total number of pieces of paper by 4 (slides per page), and then by 2 (because it's printed double-sided) and you'll get an approximate total number of slides that we need to study. In fact, I think 1000 is already a conservative estimate. What crap is this! One month left to chiong everything. Now I really wish the legendary "diffusion method" works in terms of notes and brains! What a dream of many a student! Lol. Or simply burn the notes, stir the ashes in water and drink everything up. LOL. If only!

And speaking of colours, Project Rainbow is constantly swimming around the border separating conscious and subconscious thoughts. But it suddenly hit me today: WHY ARE WE WRITING A TRAGEDY?! Jaaaaaaaaaaames!

Goodnight, world. Bless me with your goodness to learn and live strong. Lol. May Sol be shining eternally on your youth, good reader.

Two goals.

2009-10-19T22:05:00.003+08:00

1. MM
2. Wt

If anyone, anyone at all, can decode both the above two goals, I would do anything for that person, I swear.

The above sentence excludes the situation in which you have been told the answers by me.

Yay to new skin!

2009-10-19T17:22:00.003+08:00

Does everyone like it?

Alright. New skin. White. Pastels. Why? No idea.

Nah. Actually, I kinda realised some time back that I can do a black-themed skin. Or a monotone-themed skin. But how about colours? I mustn't lose my colour matching skills and just settle for black everytime, out of convenience. But then again, a lot of the brushes I downloaded are really suitable for black backgrounds. With sparkles, gradients etc., which will be overshadowed by white or even light colours.

Black rules! That would probably never change. Black is a necessity. Can't find colours to match? Match it with black. Think the colours you're using are too bright? Add in black. Black black black. Black is a good supportive, behind-the-scenes colour! It is clear. There is no mistake. Even during exams we are advised to use black ink to write our answers.
White goes well with black to create the zen feel.
Grey goes well with black for the mysterious, smoky feel.
Pastels hues are brought out and accentuated with black as the supportive colour. Pastels don't go well with white. Makes everything look damn... pale and weak. Black gives them strength.
And not forgetting strong, bright colours. They go well with neither black not white. Ever looked at a computer screen and found that your eyes hurt from looking at powerful colours? Ever seen someone wearing ultra bright colours? Bright red. Neon green. Hot pink. What do you feel? Away with bright colours!

All of the above applies to clothings and furniture too.

Aesthetics! A friend commented before that she doesn't know how to appreciate beauty and she has poor taste in things pertaining to beauty. If she went travelling, she wouldn't understand what it means to be admiring scenery. She would rather shop and do activities. She doesn't have feelings to music, or art, or well, aesthetics as a whole.

It came as a mild surprise to me, because I thought it comes to one naturally. At least I think I know some part of me holds a vast expanse of space for the development of aesthetics, and currently I'm only at the beginning. But I like my instinctive feelings. I don't want to go too in depth in learning about aesthetics, until the knowledge I obtain warps my original, pure instincts. It's really sad how easily influenced humans are. It comes to a point whereby I often wonder if my instincts are wrong. But maybe it's the type of environment I grew up in. Singapore... it's good that it's moving towards different directions in view of the ever changing world, but a large portion of us, if not the majority, still have fixed, structured concepts within us (I admit I'm a victim too). I shan't elaborate but hope that my readers understand what I am trying to drive at. I am never really good at explaining things properly. Words prance away joyfully before they reach the exit point of my brain. Lol.

In any case, break out of convention and be free! Let it keep you grounded, but never let it control and dominate you. Anticipate change. Embrace change. After all, this "ever-changing world" is thus called for a reason.

It is something I myself am striving to achieve. :) But trust me, it is a good feeling.

As the weather changes for the hotter and as I sit here and ponder over many issues... no let me talk about the weather first. It is simply SWELTERING HOT. No, it's freaking HUMID. Yuck. Isn't it supposed to be autumn now? I can't survive nighttime without the aircon lol. Or maybe it's accustomization to the almost sub-zero temperature at my workplace every weekday, that I'm less tolerant to heat now. Is it me, or is the climate getting warmer every year?

Back to issues. I think I need to make time to blog more. Many a time thoughts revolve around my head, taking shape, taking form, but I end up not wanting to blog them out. Pure laziness. :P It would be good to have someone to share it with, but well, it's also good to share it with the world. If more people started reading my blog...

Last night some thoughts came to me just before sleeping. I shall write them here for bite sized food for thought:

1. There is no right or wrong. Only good or bad. Prove it?
2. It is beneficial to think of issues from a neutral point of view. Helps you understand yourself and others better. But thinking of it is different from feeling it. It is easy to know something, but not feel it. Many of us, for many a time, we know it, we think we feel it. But we don't, not really. How to know something and feel it at the same time?

Take a little break

2009-10-11T18:28:00.004+08:00

Okay! The secondary schools are finishing their final exams, which means I have gotten past the tiring period of the year! The next few weekends will be comparatively less hectic for me, plus, no French lesson next Saturday! It isn't something to rejoice about since it's just about the only thing i look forward to every weekend, but at least I can free up some time for chillaxing. I seriously hope that would be so.

I would probably be studying the modules during the week, bit by bit. But it sucks and Murphy's Law is working against me. When I'm in the right mood to study it, the login page shows tons of errors. When the errors are fixed, I am no longer in the right mood to study it. How disgusting is that.

We should just... get on with life half blindly and not see too much. Not feel too much. Not think too much. Perhaps in that way we would be happier people.

The pressure rises...

2009-09-30T23:29:00.003+08:00

(To strive for dramatic effect, read each line with a pause at the end and raise your voice slightly for each all-caps word.)

The owner of this blog
Is
a little MORE than irritated.

WHERE. IS. THE. INSPIRATION?????

She has discovered, out of pure laziness and fatigue (for no known reason), a bad habit of hers which she has unknowingly been cultivating:

SHORT ATTENTION SPAN.

CRAP! she says to herself in dismay.

I can NEVER seem to be able to complete anything properly in one sitting.

-end of drama-

Okay ended it because I'm just tired of thinking of silly stuff. But anyway it gets quite irritating. At times I just stare at the computer screen with all the info I need around me, and I have no idea how to organize the points, digest them a little and excrete them in my own sentences (I'm kinda hungry now, by the way).

Then suddenly, the dam breaks and the words flow like nobody's business, and even when nature calls I don't answer it, until I finished those parts I have found something to write for.

Then I decide to answer the call, and upon my return to the workstation I was back to square one. Then it came in bits. I write one paragraph. Click on random windows. Write another three words. Stretched, yawned, looked around. Write another two sentences. Got up, walked around, felt guilty. Wrote another paragraph again. Got up to move back to my desk for something to eat.

ARRRRGGHHHH. It is NOT because I had been distracted. In fact, I was so uncomfy sitting still there that I was actually LOOKING for distraction to ease myself. Or sleep. But not supposed to sleep at work so...

And hello, it's not even a work of creativity. It's just a freaking LAB REPORT.

Why oh why oh why..

Let's pray that it's just pure fatigue, nothing else. Nothing else.

How I wish I were battery-operated. I'd just have to recharge using electricity instead of sleeping. Sleeping not only wastes many hours, and it is really troublesome as well because the position of sleep, type of sleep, duration of sleep, time of sleep, quality of dreams, environment of sleep and so on, all contribute towards a good or bad recharge. This is probably why some say that (good) sleep is a luxury that busy people can't afford.

I SERIOUSLY feel old. SERIOUSLY. I think my parents and grandmother are more energetic than me lol.

Okay a proper blogpost will arrive... probably tomorrow? If I get distracted from reports. Lol.

Presentation's over!

2009-09-29T22:09:00.002+08:00

The presentation's finally overrrr and I FINALLY managed to gather enough courage to tell him I'm learning FRENCH! Woohoo~

Finished taking one step, and on the next step there's my forensic report to do. And the ultra long report. Gosh is this never gonna end? My life and energy is being corroded away. So much for being labelled "Corrosive" in lab. LOL!

Buffet lunch (a quick post)

2009-09-28T21:44:00.003+08:00

Haha awesome, one of the good things about working life is... we get to eat nice FREE buffet lunches once in a while! Keyword: FREE. Seems like we did pretty well this quarter so the leader decided to have another lunch for all of us.

So we ALL cabbed down to a hotel today for a nice buffet lunch. I SIMPLY LOVE THE DESSERT! We had a self-employed prawn de-sheller (WK) who also served as ice cream man cuz he was totally looking forward to eating the Movenpick ice cream. Lol. The nicest was mint-flavoured; it was so "minty" that every breath I took in tasted of mint! Lol. It's different from the normal green peppermint flavoured ice cream that we normally eat. There's also the Espresso-flavoured one, that one's awesome too! Too bad I only got to taste a little of it (cuz I was too full already). And the ice cream is really smooth too! Lol I know of some people who would argue that Haagen Dazs would be number one -- I wouldn't know, I'm not an ice cream connoisseur (lol) but I felt it was nice to have a chance to eat "high-class" ice cream today!

Ice cream aside, the dessert was really beautiful. Lol. SQ and I made a beeline for the dessert section the moment lunch started. The other queues were too long anyway. I think there were almost as many kinds of desserts as there was food, plus, the way it was presented was so beautiful! I think dessert was the best.

Only picking out the best part to talk about today because I have a presentation tomorrow to prepare for! Okay I hate preparing for presentations because I always want to try speaking naturally and normally, instead of memorizing lines and repeating them in front of the audience. So I didn't really prepare the speech part. Just the slides.

That's why I am always in awe of hosts and stand-up comedians. Yes they rehearse, but they are also able to react to the situation very quickly. That talent of theirs is what makes them so entertaining to listen to!

Okay, Scorpios are the absolute sign of addiction (i.e. we fall to addiction easily? or people get addicted to us easily? lol. I think it should be the latter but I highly suspect it's actually the former), and I'm addicted to laziness.

Sinful.

Stressed

2009-09-20T23:56:00.003+08:00

I am really feeling quite stressed.

I have been taking it for granted, having had no homework for the past four months, everyday just turning on Macbook and squandering time on Facebook, MSN and games after work.

Full-time internship. Two modules. French lessons. Four tuitions and two pianos.

Where's my Rainbow? Where are my movies? My blog designing? My beach outings? My ENERGY?

I haven't even turned 21, and I already am complaining that I'm feeling old, drained of energy.

How I wish I could retain the liveliness and immense curiosity and confidence of my yester-years...

That's why they say, once it goes down, it's very difficult to bring it back up. Everyday I just feel this heavy feeling weighing me down in my head, in my heart, in my soul, in my footsteps, and everytime I finish an item on my daily agenda I feel totally drained, blank and slightly irritable.

Like, hello? I am only 20 years old.

Am I doing too much? Am I not doing enough?

Demise

2009-09-18T16:06:00.003+08:00

Granddad has... reached the clearing at the end of his path.

May eternal peace be with him.

I tried not to cry, it was damn hard but I tried my best anyway. If I cried, how would I have the strength to comfort those who cried?

But when I saw Grandma's tears at the end of the cremation, I couldn't help myself...

How is it like to have a spouse leave you and never to return?

Un, deux, troix

2009-09-13T01:26:00.003+08:00

Bonjour! Je m'appelle Cadence! Je suis singapourienne, et j'habite à Singapour. Je suis dans le cours de francais à l'Alliance Francaise de Singapour. Merci, au revoir.

The only problem is the PRONUNCIATION.

One of the reasons why I packed my weekends are as such:

And one of the reasons why I hate weekends are as such:

Fill in the gaps, please. Fill in the gaps. It is unbearable.

One of the most beautiful songs:
GUNSLINGER

Surprise, it coincides with the title of the first book of the Dark Tower series. Somewhat that attracted me to check it out initially, but Fate decrees that I would fall in love with this band (A7X), and though the initial attraction wasn't really there, it transfigured into well, what Zacky (from above-mentioned band) described as the every-little-strand-of-hair-standing-up thingy when I listened to it.

Sweet.

On days like this, it hits me real hard how much meaning is contained within these little masterpieces. Whacks me in the face, until I spin from the impact. And as I recover from the collision that dreadful yet wonderful feeling overwhelms me and engulfs me like a... (I wouldn't want to say: phagocyte, but oh well it flowed out of my fingers anyway. lol)

May the stars in the night lend Roland their light to bring him closer to heaven with Susan.

:)

And the world is still moving on. Will time really get soft?

How about Faluine and Lucius? What will become of them?

And the replay of Vernon's death in my mind: What will become of Rachel?
"I never got the chance to tell him I love him..."

Gears, please start spinning again!

Eating disorder... not?

2009-09-10T22:41:00.003+08:00

EH....... I don't think I have eating disorder. I just have a small stomach, that's all. And maybe I'm outside-rice intolerant. Lol! At home I usually will be able to finish the entire serving of rice but outside I can almost never finish it. Maybe it's the type of rice Mum buys which taste nicer than those outside.

But yeah it gets a little worrying at times when I am so super hungry, but the moment I sit down with my food I eat around 3/4 and I won't feel like continuing anymore. But nah it's not an eating disorder. I just need to eat at the precise moment my stomach calls out to me. Haha!

Unbound (The Wild Ride)

2009-09-09T20:41:00.002+08:00

Got some 15% aqueous KOH solution on my fingers accidentally, the skin got corroded a little when i tried to rub the soapy stuff away. And now it's dry and peeling. Ugh.

Anyway for all you emo people out there, if today is one of your emo days, here's to cheer you up with a nice song:

UNBOUND (The Wild Ride) -- Avenged Sevenfold

Somewhere life is good, and things go as they should
it's hard to find, but that’s alright yeah
Searching for the way, push harder everyday
It's deep inside, that shining light yeah
But I'm scarred, by barriers placed in my path
I'm scathed...

This ride that takes me through life
Leads me into darkness but emerges into light
No one can ever slow me down
I'll stay unbound

Sometimes when we're young, and always on the run
It gets so dark and I know that place yeah
So don't be too concerned, you got a lot to learn
Well so do I and we've got plenty of time yeah
Don't fall off the track yet with so many races to go
Hold on

This ride that takes me through life
Leads me into darkness but emerges into light
No one can ever slow me down
I'll stay unbound

Some live so wrong, with what we do is each his own
Living in fear, end the shame for countless years
I never lived in fear I knew I'd die another day
I never viewed my life as something... slipping away

Some live so wrong, with what we do is each his own
Living in fear, end the shame for countless years
I never lived in fear I knew I'd die another day
I never viewed my life as something... slipping away

There's nothing here to take for granted
with each breath that we take
the hands of time strip youth from our bodies,
and we fade,
memories remain,
as time goes on.

There's nothing here to take for granted
with each breath that we take
the hands of time strip youth from our bodies,
and we fade,
memories remain,
as time goes on.

The two ending verses are sung by children, after which there's a heartbeat-like bass drum rhythm ending the song. Very cool huh? :D

Coffee

2009-09-06T15:56:00.002+08:00

Now. This is getting bad. I didn't drink coffee in the morning and I already am getting a headache. A rather bad one.

I'M A COFFEE ADDICT!

Crapz!

Okay back to my module.

Roses and more roses!

2009-09-04T22:52:00.005+08:00

Red roses are totally my favourite flowers. Have been, and still are. To me, they represent romance, beauty, elegance, somewhat defensiveness (thorns), strength and mystery (bunched-up petals). What a beautiful breed of flower!

Alright I've found the video(s) on how to make the version of the rose that I made. I made even more today, and experimented with different sizes and colours:

And the smallest of the roses that I've ever made by myself so far, 2cm in diameter!:

I'm getting better at this! Hoho.

Now for the videos:

Part 1 of 3
Part 2 of 3
Part 3 of 3

Really need to applaud the person who came up with such a nice origami!

After being familiar with the steps, I take approximately 15-20 minutes to make each rose. Learning it took me longer, and if you're not a frequent origami explorer, it'll probably take you EVEN longer to learn from the video. I had live demo from my friend so it was much better. Want me to teach? Tag or buzz me! :D

Useful tip #1: when folding the creases, make sure they're properly and firmly creased, like using your fingernails to press them flat or something. It really helps in the later part of the foldings.

Useful tip #2: Start with a LARGE piece of square paper! It really helps! Cut the biggest square you can manage from an A4 size paper. That would be good.

Useful tip #3: As usual, practice makes perfect. Now I can do it almost absent-mindedly. Haha!

By the way, if you thought this one was difficult, take a look at this dragon that was made entirely out of only a single piece of paper, without cutting or glueing:

Dragon

TOTALLY DIVINE, MANZ!!!

Okay I'm kinda curious about origami now. Saw another type of dragon. You know, the western type with enormous reptilian wings? I tried making it, but couldn't find a suitable video. The word instructions were unclear (or maybe I'm just a noob lol). I'll search again when I'm in a better shape lol. Today I've been feeling totally sluggish and fatigued. Skipped lecture for the sake of rest.

So rest I shall go and do let me know if you've successfully made the rose yourselves! :)

Mid-week

2009-09-02T21:42:00.004+08:00

Look at the roses that I've origami-ed! Aren't they pwiddy?

Hoho I'm getting better at this. I thought I would forget it in an instant after learning it without practice, but when I tried again today, it still worked! And it gets better after each folding! Hohoho... Looks less and less like a ball of crushed paper, and more like a work of art. xD

This is seriously a rather complicated piece of origami to do. But the end product leaves you feeling accomplished. I guess it's also due to the level of difficulty that makes one not forget it easily. I would have posted up a tutorial on how to do it, but since hardly anyone reads my blog, I shall not trouble myself (actually, I'm just lazy). Hurhur.

Have I mentioned I'm starting to make soap-based body foam at my internship? No? Well I just did. In fact I've finished making all 10 of the formulations. Now I'm just waiting for my supervisor to return to the office and instruct me further. I SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE that FOUR MONTHS HAS ALREADY PASSED DAMNIT! No way, this can't be happening!

And I mourn at the fact that even though I've been passing time for the last 20 years of my life, I still hate it. Why? Because it always gets ahead of me. I don't like.

I have tons more to blog about. But I forgot like 90% of it. As always. When I click the "NEW POST" button the topics stay in my mind, but when the page finishes loading, I cleanly forget everything. Haha.

Well. Back to my self study module then.

(I thought I needed to make a mental note to remind myself to label my blogs with tags, since creating them means they're meant to be used, but well, mental notes are meant to be drowned in the deep recesses of the brain, so what's the point anyway)

Essay response

2009-08-30T19:50:00.003+08:00

I really must give credit to someone who's kindly replied to my question of a few days ago, but before I mention the name, I'd wait till I've obtained permission from the person before i publish it. But nevertheless, here's the essay (disclaimer: other than the question, none of it is mine):

Why is it so hard for people to be:

Original,

At ease,

Just themselves?

Discuss. (limit: 500 words)

The outside world independent of an individual’s private protective bubble is a scary, merciless place, where words can be used as lethal missiles and mean remarks form the stuff of tabletop conversations. It is this aspect of the world that many human beings fear, loathe and hate. Therefore, in order to counter and maintain some semblance of a normal life, many human beings cease to be a) original, b) at ease, and lastly c) just themselves. Each will be discussed in turn.

Originality. Truthfully, how much content on the Net right now can be considered original? Most works in the modern work are usually derivative works, pieces of effort repackaged, adapted and modified to suit the new author’s purposes and ends. For example: you hear a song being played on the radio, but feel that you’ve heard it before despite the liner claiming it to be a fresh release. Most probably, that song had already been performed before, albeit by a different singer, record company and with different lyrics and melody. But the fact is, the idea being the work had already been thought of before, it was original then. By a makeover of the same idea, can it also be considered original? Lawsuits are fought over these issues daily, but a conclusion has never been reached. Although the big companies may make a big hoo-ha about some other people copying their ideas, down under the companies are glad for the competition, for it brings back their previous work; as they say: any publicity is still welcome publicity.

It is rather difficult for people to be at ease nowadays, either with themselves or the world around them. You see, the world has become such a scary, convoluted place, forcing all of us to be constantly on our guard. Failure to do so would have unimaginable consequences. You never know if the person you’re speaking would backstab you the moment you turn away, or slather your reputation with fascist remarks. Though exceptions exist, it is superiorly difficult to find someone harmless enough to talk to, and not be on guard 24/7.

How do you define “yourself”? Sadly, the truth is many people define themselves by how our peers define us. Take for example this pair of fictitious people: Jane and May. Jane thinks May is a little crude and tells her about it off-handedly, thinking that May would not take it to heart. Later at home, May questions herself about her supposed crudeness. As time passes, May’s subconscious mind would constantly remind her that she is supposed to be crude, a self-fulfilling prophecy. This scenario, although exaggerated, serves to show that many people build pictures of themselves via input from the people around them, much like reputations. This is why people find it hard to be themselves, as they have to be the “thems” their friends think they are for sakes of reputation and pride.

The world is a frightening place, and this is how human beings have adapted to survive.

(500 words)

Standards

2009-08-25T23:21:00.004+08:00

I have, for myself, set standards to follow. They aren't necessarily high standards, but not everything's low either...

But setting them is one thing, following them through is another thing, and being conscious of them and reassessing them to suit one's life better is yet another.

I can just say, I've only recently given such things brief thoughts. On why the thoughts are brief, well, there are some things which, the more you try to think about it, the more it doesn't work out properly. Sometimes you just need realizations here and there, then some me-time to assess each of them and select or modify those you think fit your principles and morals. But after that, you need to test each of them out for feasibility and appropriateness. It is a difficult process that I am struggling with, but at least it kind of proves that I don't need a religion or faith to remind me to embark on "finding myself".

I am not an atheist, nor am I against any religion at all. In fact, once again, I have my own standards regarding religions and I know how important it is to be able to understand and accept the wide variety of religions around. But that doesn't necessarily mean I totally don't believe in them, and it doesn't mean I should follow them whole-heartedly and unquestioningly. I am sure I'm distant (and unbiased) enough to judge which teachings are more relevant to me. I wouldn't change myself to fit the teaching of a religion, but I would accept words of wisdom that I feel would help me make good decisions in life.

On why the thoughts are recent, it's because recently I've been thinking of external influences that shape me away from my true self, or at least, the true person I want to be. And that is also why it's difficult to set standards. One cannot be totally selfish, anyway! But there is still a need to do so because at the end of the day, personality is one of the most fluid and changeable things (though some may argue otherwise), and drastic changes would cause it to deviate from the benchmarks that we set. If we are sentient, reasonable and responsible beings, possible human aspects that Evolution has kindly bestowed upon us, I guess we all should refer back to those benchmarks to remind ourselves of our goals.

And it's not simply saying, "hey I did something I wouldn't usually do today. Never mind, I won't do it again", and a few days later it happens all over again. We need to strive to be constant, and learn to mean what we say! It's like how a primary school teacher of mine used to tell us, "It's no use saying sorry if you don't mean it. When you say sorry, make absolute sure you don't do that mistake again." But then again it's very hard to truly mean what we say, or do what we plan to do. It's torturous. Why then, do people complain, "Somehow, I am able to tell people not to do this, but I can't stop myself from doing it!" That is a deviation from your personal standards. So it's time to decide if you're gonna go back to it, or change it completely. Many a time we just don't try hard enough.

As for myself, I need chances to test and appraise my personal standards for feasibility because well, I have a slight tendency to set impossibly high standards for myself at times. Lol..

And before my words get more and more incoherent from the fatigue I'm experiencing now, I shall stop thinking right here.

Goodnight!

My secret ambition

2009-08-23T23:20:00.004+08:00

Finally my secret ambition has come to light. It's...

... to be a MALE.

And an alpha male at that.

Which brings me to the memory of a reading I did on some website

quote: "The female Scorpio has a deep, mysterious beauty. She's magnetic, proud and totally confident. But she has one secret regret. She was not born a man."

Lol.

Don't ask me how I came to find that secret ambition out -- it just came to me. Oh, and since it's out it's no longer a secret ambition. Hohoho..

Be warned, I might go for sex-change. Nah kidding. :P

Food for thought

2009-08-22T23:14:00.002+08:00

Why is it so hard for people to be

original

at ease

just themselves?

Discuss. (limit: 500 words)

Busy days in the lab

2009-08-19T22:05:00.003+08:00

These days, lab work is getting busier and busier. Like for today, I started work at 8.30am sharp (when I used to have time to drag a bit before starting), did all the way till lunch, went for lunch and immediately went back to work all the way till 5.30pm.

No time to stop for a break!

NOTE

2009-08-16T22:37:00.002+08:00

You know, when people say that something is "too good to be true", it simply means just that.

Too good to be true.

So it's untrue and unreal!

M.I.A.

2009-08-07T22:36:00.007+08:00

This music really deserves to be noted! The music's really good, the lyrics nice and as usual, the guitars are great. :D This is the final song I've discovered and loved from the "City of Evil" album. So now I love ALL the songs in that album, that's why I'm SO GETTING IT!!! :D

Lyrics:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/mia-lyrics-avenged-sevenfold.html

Being human...

2009-08-05T23:23:00.003+08:00

As human we are equipped with the special ability to emote. Meaning, our brains are structured in a way that we have the ability to think, feel and analyse, and make meaning out of things. Words escape my mind so I can't express myself clearly enough but I think my readers might have a skeletal idea of what I'm talking about, hey? Lol.

So, being human, why not make use of this ability that has been bestowed by God (if you're religious), Fate (if you're inclined to think that way), or Evolution (if you are Darwin-ian) to make ourselves better people?

We like to group two categories of things, simply being science and the arts. By "science" I mean factual stuff, and by "arts" i mean the aesthetics and more subjective stuff. There are people who place too much emphasis on science and the facts to truly realise the importance of the other, more natural side of us. Then again, to be fair, I guess I could also say that there are also people who are too obsessed with their interpretations and emotions, until they twist and warp facts into an unhealthy way.

I hope I'm neither. I guess the best way is to place equal priority to both aspects of our nature. Use our emotions and judgement to improve ourselves, also keep up with facts to upgrade ourselves. Besides, it's helpful to note that not everyone's born with the insightful ability to judge things correctly. But this is what life is for: search for true meanings. Throughout life we'll have to spend some effort to balance both.

(uhh that doesn't mean i have to read newspapers everyday, right? xD)

And personality. It's another big thing worth considering. There are 3 faces to it: the one that's describable, the part that can be observed, and the side that only the sane individual himself knows about. What you describe can be a good reference to someone's personality. E.g. I can say someone's helpful cuz I always see him helping friends out. That's the "facts" part. The "judgement" part is the second one, meaning that whether someone is helpful depends on the person experiencing the help. Someone can help many people, but to a third party he/she may not be helpful enough. Or for that matter, effective enough. This judgement is up to the individual to define range and interpretation.

Finally, the last part, the most enigmatic and potentially dangerous part, is what the individual knows about his/her own personality. And this includes conscious and subconscious. Someone can help people, but if the true motive is to gain certain things back from people, or simply to portray oneself as helpful to make yourself feel better/cover up your other flaws, well, that is probably not very... erm it's up to you to judge. :)

Well done, I've briefly analysed two aspects of human nature. Guess i can say goodnight after the following part:

Read such a quote before:
"I don't like making friends with emo people because they are just too troublesome."
^ unevolved human being with bad personality.

Okay, goodnight!

Wishlist

2009-08-05T00:02:00.004+08:00

Okay Captain WB has ordered me to step out of the 1cm x 1cm emo square. So since I'm in a good mood today, let me just move out of it for a while until I feel the need to move back in. :D

I feel accomplished and good after thinking/talking things through PROPERLY. It's like having a final closure and you get to gain something from it in one way or another. Guess that's what contributes to our growth and understanding of various things in life in general. Look, think, listen. Open your mind. I believe that's the ultimate advice to anyone. Opening up your mind makes you more receptive, more understanding and more reasonable to see things properly.

In any case, my rare level of good mood calls for a celebration and some sort of self-reward. I shall be very bu-yao-lian and make a wishlist here:

1. Movie session (which will be soon!)
2. City of Evil album (by avenged sevenfold)
3. Synyster Gates' Schecter guitar (yea, the striped design lol)
4. The entire Precious Moments Disney collection
5. TBC

Lol. Please, readers, don't get anything for me cuz I don't want two or more copies of stuff. Lol. Or if anyone wanna be nice and act Santa to me, you could ask me whether I already have any of the above before getting 'em.

See, how bu-yao-lian I am.

Never mind, at least I let myself have some positive fantasies today. :D

Goodnight!

(Disclaimer: Good mood or open mind doesn't equate to optimism. I admit I'm still an emo person and that probably won't change in the near future, if at all. Hehheh!)

21 Guns

2009-08-02T01:51:00.004+08:00

I'm tired, but I don't really wanna sleep. So let's look at a really nice song by Green Day that I find is quite meaningful. I know I've posted this song up before, but let's just give it a little more credit today, huh? Some people might think that this song is too depressive, but hey, sense the very mild (but still present) optimistic point of view in it. Maybe I interpret this song wrongly in my own way, but I hope I have the right to interpret it in any way I want. Lol.

There are so many meanings to this song, I suppose. Take it literally and you could refer to a soldier being tired of fighting wars. Apply it to many other situations and it could fit in too.

Like interpersonal relationships. When the fabric holding two people together frays into a thin line, perhaps it's better to lay it down rather than to let it break, which would inevitably cause both parties to fall. And falling hurts... real bad... So why don't we just lay down our arms and give up the fight?

Many a good relationship starts out nicely. "Oh this person is great, he/she's awesome, he/she knows exactly what I want, what I need..."

Then the line wears thin.

Then sometimes they do things to hurt you. And they aren't sorry for it. In fact, they don't want to be sorry for it. Then instead of preventing the same mistakes they commit them again. Then sometimes you realise you're being a jerk towards them too. You've tried talking about it or making things better but it doesn't seem to help.

Lay down your arms and give it up?

Sometimes it's really better to do just that, isn't it? Anyway we should just accept the fact that in our lives there are bound to be gains and losses. Nothing's ever built to last. There is no eternity. Of course one should never be flippant when dealing with relationships. And many a time, relationships are polarized to one side. Sometimes, it gets overly polarized... until it almost becomes an ionic bond. Lol. So I agree with SQ when she said that when you feel nothing but tiredness from a relationship, and can't seem to do anything to improve on it, just give it up. Why make yourself miserable? The other person probably won't notice your absence anyway. Even if he/she notices, he/she isn't putting in any effort to bring it back. You gave them time, you gave them chances, and in the end? Just three simple words: "Don't Care Anymore".

It's a very strong set of 3 words you know. It means a whole lot of stuff.

Remind myself...

Listen to this really nice song (in terms of meaning, lyrics and tunes). Also note that in my world, "nice" doesn't necessarily refer to positive stuff all the time. :D

Lyrics:

Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Lol though this is labelled "Emoblog" I'm not actually being emo here. Just reflectin'. Goodnight!

New Macbook!

2009-07-31T23:31:00.004+08:00

I've been busy... playing with my new Macbook Pro 13"!!! :D Officially MINE since Wednesday, 29 July 2009. Finally manz.

I had mild flu and thus was chased back home to rest by my superior yesterday after lunch, so I used the time all the way till today to customize the laptop and install many cool stuff! Like Google Maps and Stellarium. :D Really awesome programmes manz.

So yep, just a short update cuz I have been kinda lazy to sign in and blog. But I do Tweet cuz it's really convenient, being on the Dashboard which I can access to anytime my Macbook is switched on. :D

Tata!~

The world in my eyes

2009-07-27T22:01:00.002+08:00

In a world like this, when lines get increasingly blurred and zones get grayer by the generation, it gets more and more important to reach deeper levels of understanding and bonding.

At least, that is what I feel. My thesis statement.

Take friendship for example. Is friendship built on the basis of the length of time a group of people know one another? Is it built upon the fact that a group of people like one another and enjoy all the fun times they had together? Is it based on the habit of one friend constantly giving in to your whims and needs until you take it for granted, and that when another friend isn't able to fulfill those, you complain, compare and blame?

Sometimes what's the point of sticking to a group of friends you can't even connect with and understand well enough despite the fact that you've been together for a long time, and that you've tried ways and means to. Sometimes it's not reciprocated. Sometimes it's not your fault, but theirs. Perhaps it's both.

There are different types of friends. Some you appreciate enough to just only require some company and to talk about lighter topics, to provide a listening ear to some everyday woes. Yet there are others whom you need to depend on for life's important lessons, to be there for you during emotional turmoil, and to lead you out of darkness. These are the ones whom you need to connect to on a deeper level.

So sometimes, you just get tired of holding on to such relationships just on the excuse of "I've known them for X number of years" or "They've done this and that for me and I appreciate it". When someone gets tired, and the tiredness recurs one time too many, it's time to let go. Time to do some housekeeping and pack away all the unwanted emotional baggage so that you can continue walking down your path with a lighter load.

It applies the same way for romantic relationships.

But ultimately what is important is to have an open mind. Open your mind to receive criticisms, accept reasonable insults, take yourself to that higher level. It will eventually be more fulfilling, though some may say that the process is too complicated, confusing and emotionally tiring. But think of this: at the end of it all you become more enlightened, you are able to deal with conflicts better instead of running away from them, you are able to connect more easily and better understand what people want from you, and you emerge feeling that life is much more meaningful that way, and you grow closer to those people you love. At least its better than escaping from these emotions just because they are difficult to deal with. It sticks like glue. When glue clings and dries onto your hands, the more you try to fling it away, the less likely it will go. You need special care and patience to wash or peel it away from the skin in order to completely remove it.

Open up your heart. It isn't wrong when people say, never be so busy that you don't have time to stop and smell the flowers. Clearly put in the context of this post, never be so busy and closed-up that you don't have time to stop and appreciate the people around you, to reflect upon yourself and to assess the relationships you have with those around you. Even for a little while. As long as it is meaningful, it is enough.

I constantly need to be reminded about things like these. Reflections to remind me of the kind of person I strive to be.

2009-07-26T23:32:00.002+08:00

For the record, I've not slept for 40 hours yesterday!

I went for the IMHope chalet for the weekend after work on Friday, was quite tired then and had no mood to help out at the BBQ, but did in the end. For a bit. After that we just practically laughed all the way until around midnight, then went up to play board games. I did think of sleeping but at around 2am some of them wanted to go downstairs to play other board games that I hadn't played before, so I just joined in out of curiosity. Ended up: I didn't sleep the entire night. In the morning the sky was still very dark and I thought it was only 4am. Thought of going back to sleep if it was really still 4am but no, it was already 6.40am. I was quite stunned. So in the end I didn't go sleep.

Some of them went to watch the sunrise but I was lazy to walk over so I just stayed where I was. I think everyone at the table were already in the non-absorbent state, cuz the game master seemed to be having a rather difficult time trying to guide us through a new board game. Lol! We went up and slacked around until 10am before going for breakfast. I did try to sleep after breakfast but it was a bad choice cuz I could only sleep for one hour fitfully (probably due to the strong coffee). So it was as good as not sleeping at all.

6am on Friday until 10pm on Saturday. Lol. Really a record. And suddenly Sunday's over and I have to go back to work tomorrow. Grrr. Didn't seem to have accomplished much today leh...

A rose is a rose is a rose

2009-07-22T22:21:00.003+08:00

I think these 6 months will be rather fruitful for me. I would learn how to make shampoo, wash hair and comb hair. Yeah I know I sound like I'm working at a hair salon but nope, I'm not. Starting on French classes (please wake me up when September arrives!) which I hope I can carry myself through the entire year! Learnt how to fold an origami rose from SQ which is damn difficult to do, but the end result is really pretty:

Nice right? :D I actually dropped a few drops of concentrated fragrance in the centre and now it is literally sitting in my living room acting like an air freshener. Whole house smells nice. :D

And not only that, I learnt to make mango pudding and bake cookies.

And from the way I live each day nowadays, I bet I'll grow fatter at the end of the 6 months. Every working day I'll munch on something or drink milo/coffee in the late afternoon. Besides, those stuff that I munch on are super fattening, like chocolate chip cookies, chocolate biscuits, chocolate pillows, hazelnut chocolate, sweets, gummies, twisties, pringles... sometimes bread, glutinous rice balls from Clementi, bubble tea... yeah I know, everything's unhealthy huh? Now I'm getting a hint of sore throat already. I hope it doesn't come until AFTER the chalet. :S

If I don't succeed in growing fat (which isn't very possible cuz I don't exercise at all) at the end of 6 months, then I can gladly confirm that I have reached my fattest already. Lol. But maybe everything's stuck in the arteries. Manz. I do hope not.

Look at the food in my drawer at my desk. Picture taken after more than half the original amount of food was already depleted. Note that this is only MY drawer.. the other 4 interns also have food in their drawers you know! We take random stuff out to share during tea-breaks. Lol.

Song recommendations

2009-07-20T22:50:00.002+08:00

Recently I've been listening to a few songs that are not bad indeed! So I'm recommending them to my readers and whoever happened to punch in the relevant terms into the search engines and chanced upon my blog. Some may not even be new songs, but they are new to me in any case. I have very limited range of tolerance for genres of music so I don't explore many songs outside the extremely few bands I actually like.

To add a disclaimer, I do not own any of the songs, lyrics or videos so please don't accuse me anyhow okay. Since I'm recommending, I thought I might as well include as much info as I wish to include. I am NOT claiming ownership of them.

Alright here are the songs:

THE RIVER -- by Good Charlotte (Album: Good Morning Revival, 2007)

I'm not particularly a Good Charlotte fan, and I don't like their entire album cuz some of the songs sound to me like club-dance music, which isn't to my taste. But there is a really rock-ish track, and (good for me), it actually features M.Shadows (singer) and Synyster Gates (amazing Guitar God) from Avenged Sevenfold (A7x). Lol and from my rather biased choice of words you probably can tell that A7x is one of my favourite bands! Woohoo~

So you can probably guess: I chanced upon this song when searching around youtube for A7x videos to watch. Was so happy when Shadows and the familiar striped Schecter belonging to Syn appeared. :D

Okay okay don't roll your eyes now! Here's the video:

Lyrics:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/the-river-lyrics-good-charlotte.html

Lyrics are pretty meaningful. I think each of us can relate to it at some point in time in our lives.

~~~

MARCH ON -- by Good Charlotte (Album: Good Morning Revival, 2007)

Here's another nice and meaningful Good Charlotte song. It's rather encouraging and soothing. And as the name suggests, the music and the beats are rather alla marcia (aka in the style of a march), firm but not extremely strong. Lyrics and music are in the video.

~~~

If you've watched Transformers 2, you'd almost definitely hear this one:

NEW DIVIDE -- by Linkin Park (Transformers Soundtrack)

This song induces emotions! Lyrics are very descriptive. And I like the singer's voice. Sounds young, strong, with some growling here and there... Power! :D

Lyrics:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/new-divide-lyrics-linkin-park.html

~~~

21 GUNS -- by Green Day (Transformers Soundtrack)

It starts with a slow acoustic part, then drums come in with more strumming, then later on the hard rock part. I like the bridge section. The song has a sad mood to it, and when I heard it for the first time, I nearly cried, partly also because of the emotional lyrics. Quite introspective and it makes you reflect as well. You'd have to check out the lyrics yourself before you understand what I mean lol.

Here's the video:

Lyrics:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/21-guns-lyrics-green-day.html

Seriously I think this is probably one of the best songs I've ever heard from Green Day!

~~~

Real World -- by All American Rejects (Transformers Soundtrack)

Again, this is sadly another very famous band that I don't listen to. Perhaps the few songs by them that I've ever checked out weren't nice to me. But this one rocks! The tune's catchy, rock-y and well, just really nice. :D

Song and lyrics are in the video itself:

Do comment if you like the songs too! :D

Hmm and I just heard on the news that Ion Orchard's opened. Will there be Electron Somerset, Proton Serangoon, Positron Tampines and Quarky Marina Bay next time?

Tiring day

2009-07-16T23:23:00.002+08:00

I'm getting hooked to Good Charlotte in a totally unexpected way. Their songs sound to me like dance music (a little) but I like a few. Especially "The River" which is totally rock and totally rocks (but that's because Shadows and Syn are in it. Lol).

And it was a busy day at work, doing formulations and stability tests all at the same time... Rushing from one lab to another... Totally tiring. But it's alright, I'm not alone. :D

I don't understand why old uncles are totally insensitive to space on the bus. They just love to sit with their legs so wide apart that it intrudes into what little comfortable space I have. Can't really be bothered to ask them to move aside, but I just wish they'd sit properly!

And another thing: it seems like the more I eat, the skinnier I get. This is weird. Lol.

2009-07-13T23:48:00.000+08:00

OMG what a baby! :D Lol!

Food, glorious food!

2009-07-12T22:44:00.002+08:00

Well I've made cookies and mango pudding today. :)

A7x in chipmunk voices

2009-07-03T23:55:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh I couldn't help but laugh my head off when I listened to a video! It's all members in overdrive, impossibly fast Syn solo, revving drums from the Rev, and most of all, the chipmunk voice of Shadows... but hey, do you know that it's actually GOOD? It's awesome growling chipmunks!

Take a look at the original music. You don't need to listen to the whole song to get the idea, just a bit:

Original:

And now listen to the chipmunk version:

Now you get it. xD But hey, I really think it's cool!

Insight

2009-07-03T00:00:00.003+08:00

In the world, there is no right or wrong, just why or why not.

This is a belief of my own, but I myself am not able to follow it truly. It's difficult, especially when as humans we have been taught since young about what's right and wrong.

But if there's a right/wrong concept, my belief might be wrong too. See, the right-wrong thing again. Lol.

~~~

For the first time ever since I've gotten my Nano, I have managed to upload videos to it. Pretty nice for a small screen: I'd thought it'd be puny and difficult to view, but it's actually alright. Tomorrow I will try to upload more videos to it. All my faves! Since I cannot own a Phone or a Pod I shall make full use of the Nano. :D

Twitter's getting to me bit by bit. At work I just think of a random thought and feel like tweeting it out but no access! Well WX has an iPhone that can surf the net but can't possibly keep using it right... not very nice...

I had a super strong urge to cut my hair into a bob when I was on the bus home today. I don't really know why. I just layered it not very long ago and now I wanna cut it again. Haha...

-untitled-

2009-07-01T23:01:00.002+08:00

EDIT: Background will NOT be coming out soon. Lol. Wait till AFTER I get my Macbook from Matric Fair.

I am recently looking at (or rather, admiring a little too intensely) Apple stuff. Suddenly I am super keen on getting a Macbook. Suddenly, when WX showed us his new iPhone, I wished I hadn't bought the Nano but had gotten that instead. Lol.

But I'm definitely getting that Macbook, provided it's at a nice price with the entire package included. Never mind the Phone or the Pod, I am currently rather happy with my Nano (except that it can't surf the net and it ain't a touch-screen) and shall look to new Apples when they are released next time. :D

On Facebook, at the advertisement bar I see a link:

"Still no iPhone? We are giving away iPhones, check out here and win an iPhone!"

-shall not click that link-

Lol. I must tell myself, when I put the iPhone to my cheek it will grease the entire screen. Yucks! So don't get one! xD

Okay now for a briefie about Twitter! I've just included a "Tweet tweet!" section as you can see on the left of this blogpost. It's a collection of all my Tweets. In chronological order. Seriously people should start tweeting, but I can't find a valid enough reason why (never mind, cuz reasons for addiction to such Internet stuff aren't usually very valid anyway). I feel quite alone just tweeting to my unread blog, reading MCR' tweets and don't really get to communicate with them (no point anyway, cuz I don't know them), and well, just tweeting to myself in general. Lol.

And this blogging issue is kinda frustrating. At work today I think through stuff and have so much to blog and update (whoever left who's reading this blog) but now that I have a real break I FORGET what I wanna blog. -_-" Awesome.

Other than those, work's pretty cool, still making shampoo but not exactly tired of them yet. In fact, I kind of like it. I hope I get to make and bring home my own shampoo at the end of the internship! Memory's getting from bad to worse (e.g. parents went to watch Transformers yesterday but I thought it was today), temper's not really improving (wait, just wait until I get my Macbook! -rubs palms with glee-), and fatigue isn't alleviating either. I cannot imagine when one module and one French course descend upon me come August/September. Lol.

Alright my eyelids are responding to the call of gravity now. Nights!

Changes

2009-06-27T01:27:00.001+08:00

Yeah, changed layout, ordering of stuff, added the microblogging thing (twitter, :D), shall macroblog only when I have the time yea? Background will be coming up soon.

More updates to come!

Updates?

2009-05-25T22:08:00.002+08:00

Well I actually have many things to update about but I am simply too lazy to update. I shall just content myself (and my readers, if there are any left) with a LIST.

1. Did some Rainbow here, Rainbow there and decided it's probably one of the few things left around that actually CHEERS ME UP (other than listening to my favourite music of course).

2. Wondered about a lot of things: life, what I want to do, what I should be doing, what I could have done, what I really really wish to do...

3. Started the industrial attachment on Monday and have made 12 bottles of shampoo thus far. Woohoo!

4. Am thinking of what to do next: language lessons, drums lessons, or no lessons?

5. Am wondering why I'm always so tired AGAIN. Usual amount of sleep equates now to as good as no sleep. Grrr.

Okay enough updates. For more details, I'm usually on MSN at night. :)

New skin!

2009-05-07T23:27:00.002+08:00

New skin to celebrate the end of exams! This goes to show that
1. I have more time
2. My designing quality is back (the green one was ugly)
3. I am happy!

Comments, please! =D

Exams are done!

2009-05-06T23:42:00.004+08:00

Finally manz. Exams are complete and I can take a breather. A very short breather. Lol. So much has happened over the past couple of weeks that I think I really need to take a break. But there's still things to do, damn it. Sigh. At the end of it all I still have no life. -_-"

I hope I'm not turning bulimic... been having very very lousy appetites these days. I can be real hungry yet when I put food into my mouth I feel like spitting them out instead of swallowing them. Sigh.

Oh well, those aside, it's time for me to change a new blogskin! I really don't like this current one manz. Too umm... Green. It reminds me of pandan cake. Haha.

Songs for sharing...

2009-04-19T14:53:00.002+08:00

Now that I've lost you it kills me to say
(Hurts to say)
I've tried to hold on as you've slowly slipped away
I'm losing the fight, I've treated you so wrong now let me make it right

I Won't See You Tonight -- Part 1, the suicide note

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and loved

It's building up inside of me
A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me,
You're not the one to place the blame
As bottles call my name I won't see you tonight

Sorrow sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and most of all I loved
But I can't see myself that way
Please don't forget me or cry while I'm away

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

So far away, I'm gone.
Please don't follow me tonight
And while I'm gone everything will be alright

No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight

Until the End -- a song for friends

Weekends on young and angry streets
We meet, drink 'till trouble found us there
Living life as without a care
We've had our bouts, been black and blue
Its true, I've even gone to jail for you my friend
Bet your life that I'd do it again

(Until the End)

Don't change the way you think of me
We're from the same story
Life moves on, can't stay the same
For some of us, i'm worried

While some have gone their separate ways
Theres some still caught up with the past instead
But move on, you're missing most of your life
They say its hard to stay the same
When some fail, while other men seem to gain, my friend
I'll be with you here until the end

(Until the End)

Don't change the way you think of me
We're from the same story
Life moves on, can't stay the same
But some of us, some worry
We're all falling forward
With no signs of slow
And some moving faster
Thats all that I wanted
I wanted

You know its hard
Its passing by
Memories
Be out all night
To reminisce wont bring you back
Just look ahead and hold on tight
We're all falling forward
With no signs of slow
And some moving faster
Thats all that I wanted
I wanted

Don't change the way you think of me
Oh yeah

Oh yeah
Until the end
Until the end
Until the end

Burnt?

2009-04-17T22:24:00.002+08:00

I think it is amazing how easily burnt I am. Just three hours under the sun yesterday during basketball and I'm already red on my shoulders, neck and cheeks. I hope it turns into a tan. I don't like my pale skin. Hehheh. As for the one on my cheeks, I gladly welcome it: now I don't have to put on blusher cuz I have it naturally. xD

Finally the study break has come, lessons are over, and now it's just mugging in full/half gear all the way to 6th May. Woohoo~ And chalet after that! I was so tired that this morning I slept all the way till 11.15am. Shocking. Almost 12 hours of sleep. And now I'm back to feeling tired again. I probably need to catch up on sleep.

There are a few things I need to clear before I really get down to mugging. But at this moment in time I totally don't feel like doing them... :P

The Pensive speaks...

2009-04-16T21:55:00.004+08:00

I've been looking into my "Pensive" a lot lately, and wondered how far I've come, and how much further I will go.

Finding #1: I've come rather far despite a young age of 20; I already feel like half my life is over.
Finding #2: I've come perhaps too far, that I've been feeling sick and tired of it all already, and ditto the feeling of having half my life over already. Maybe it's time to retire from all of it, just be by myself, seeking inner peace, outer peace, everything peace. Peace out.
Finding #3: Despite having come so far, I have come to understand many things, but likely to have learnt nothing much.
Finding #4: Despite having come so far and understanding so many things, I feel like an old and experienced lady yet I don't act like one.
Finding #5: Having understood many things, I have this amazing ability to catch the slightest mistake I am going to make, but end up still making the mistake and lamenting over it after that.

All of the above are just on the surface of things. I may be wrong, but there is one fact that has been confirmed again and again. The most crucial and perhaps most detrimental to my personal well-being:
I am optimistic and pessimistic at all the wrong things.

Many other findings have been made but there isn't ample time to discuss all of them. Nevertheless, I am just bloody blogging today so that I can release a bit of the pressure... which in the end didn't really help at all. Nevertheless it makes things a little... less tormenting... to read it all in words.

I feel like announcing my retirement now. Just quit it all, grab some cash and travel the world alone, losing everything slowly, forgetting everything slowly, make a few more acquaintances, create a few more pleasant and hurting experiences...

... then gradually reach the clearing at the end of the path, satisfied, knowing that the journey was well-travelled.

If you, Reader, could understand my exact feelings right now, the surging and tumultuous emotions that form the basis of these thoughts and words, I'd be so grateful to you. But no, I don't think so. Feelings, after all, are mine only. No other person can feel the exact same way I feel. Feelings are intangibles that can be expressed, but are also burdens that can never be shared. Feelings are also time bombs waiting for the right chance to explode, for the right targets to kill. But once exploded, damage is done, both to yourself and the person who got targeted, be it positive or negative feelings.

Life is so perfect, and so imperfect as well...

And one of the most imperfect things on Earth: Love.

Confused

2009-04-05T22:24:00.002+08:00

I'm so confused... I wish I could bury myself and disappear from the face of the Earth. Argh.

Lab report's done... now there's only the electrochem stuff to do. Yupyup let's hope I can finish it on time~

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These's streets we traveled on will undergo our same lost past

I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'll do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
(a melody, a memory, or just one PICTURE)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
(a melody, a memory, or just one PICTURE)

Seize the day or die regretting the time You lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here
Don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

(guitar solo)

So what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again? Whooooah
So I never want to leave you and the memories OF us to see
I beg don't leave me

Seize the day or die regretting the time You lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here
Don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home) x2

(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)

As they thank the Lord the blind can't see

2009-03-22T13:14:00.002+08:00

Blinded in Chains -- A7x, City of Evil

And we're at it again, I turn around another fucking war, man
I don't know where to begin, but I'll start with the radical leaders
Their steps we're followin'

Running, don't go back and fight, too many you'll lose
(And as clowns you follow suit behind the blood between the red and white and blue but it's too deep for you to see and everyone eventually will take the step cause it's in sight you take the left I'll take the right I fell the hate you've built for me and I say pay attention baby)

As they thank the Lord the blind can't see
Like a plague fed to the brain deadly disease

But it wasn't a sin, a sorry life in judging every action
And as they're feeding your mind with this shit you forget
How to speak how to ask all the questions

The business at hand tonight, make the people choose
(I see another side in you but there's not much more I can do from on the outside looking in your government is listenin' to push you on the story of immortal father mortal son give them your mind and all your wealth the cycle will rebirth itself)

If they had it their way, I'd burn in Hell and your future's a fuckin' disaster can't you see
Don't give them all the power when your future's in desperate trouble baby

As they thank the Lord the blind can't see
Like a plague fed to the brain deadly disease
I'd run away tonight with my mind still intact you gotta make it alright
Easier said than done with no place to hide and having no place to...
Running away from condition, I see you but you're running away from
Your scared seductive system

Most would claim I live a lie when pointing out it's easy to predict these things
Every color has its side, they live together vote and most embrace these same dark times
Please help us, please save us of course they have control we're all the same
Up on the cross, crucified their problem drove the nail and let Him rot
Family and friends, it won't matter in the end I'm sure they'll understand
Now look at the world and see how the humans bleed
As I sit up here and wonder 'bout how you sold your mind, body and soul
Looking at the fields so green I know this sounds obscene
I see you're living for tomorrow but decisions you have made will leave you empty

As they thank the Lord the blind can't see
Like a plague fed to the brain deadly disease
I'd run away tonight with my mind still intact I've gotta make it alright
Easier said than done with no place to hide and having no place to run

You've fallen asleep in denial
Look at the way we're dyin'
How it ends I'll never know
Just live your life blind like me

Just need some time to myself

2009-03-21T21:11:00.003+08:00

I just need a little time to myself, to research on stuff unrelated to school, to just be online for the sake of it, to type a little here, chat a little there, and simply not think about the looming deadlines.

But alas, it is difficult. For every moment spent not doing work nowadays, I think of how much I could have completed in that moment. How many words I could have read. How many words I could have typed. How many thoughts I could have formed while analysing academic texts. Is it all worth it in the end, all this insanity? Is it? Should I stress out so much to only get little improvement in the end, as it always is?

I am not a workaholic. In fact, I think I'm so very far from it. I multi-task, I am not focused, I get distracted with chats or music or thoughts while doing work. It's not that I am being stubborn, but it's become a habit that I have to be present online whenever I switch on the laptop. In any case, even if I weren't online, I'd still be distracted from work in the end, from an interesting website, a nice new song, or... just something else. Anything. So actually I don't show 100% efficiency in whatever I do.

Is that actually alright?

Probably that resulted in my partaking in other activities no more. I really dislike myself for being like this. Can I for once stop being such a perfectionist, or at least do something to achieve perfection rather than whining about it? Why is it so difficult to attain perfection? Others seem to be able to do it, why can't I?

It's so difficult to find motivation nowadays. The mundane schooldays make it difficult to pick up momentum to study hard and push forward. As a result it takes more effort than I'd like it to take to start, continue and finish my assignments. And since I can't finish my assignments, I tell myself to put away unimportant stuff (those stuff on the side like Project Rainbow) till later. Which means whenever I get motivated to do those side stuff, the motivation will just drop like a stone because unfinished schoolwork comes flooding into my mind. End-effect: zero motivation for EVERYTHING.

Can I for once not let trivial things get to me, making me irritable and grumpy? Why is it so difficult? Am I really lazy? Or am I just too tired, having accumulated it from all the work I've been doing? I'm already giving up a lot of leisure time and dedicate it to work, work work. Can that be an excuse? If not, then am I a lazy person?

It was said never to blame others for your plight. So here I am blaming myself. I'm not blaming school for being so stressful. I'm not blaming others for imposing expectations on me. I'm just blaming myself for not living up to my own expectations. And boy what a horrible feeling that is.

And instead of being here asking so many questions, why don't I start on my SS project. -_-"

There I go again.

What life is this.

2009-03-19T22:26:00.007+08:00

I dread this kinda life manz. Everyday only involved in pushing to the limit (ok not really the limit, but when it's accumulated the threshold decreases by the day). Go to school for the whole day, attend lectures that don't even make their way anywhere near the brain, sleep uncomfortably on the crowded (and sometimes extremely hot) bus back home.

Then at home, have dinner, watch half-hour to one hour of TV, bathe, switch on the internet to clear minute stuff, and already half-asleep by then. Have to force eyelids open to clear SCHOOLWORK after that. If I clear schoolwork first then the minute stuff will never be cleared, and I'll be uneasy the whole day because I haven't cleared the minute stuff. If I allow myself to sleep after clearing the minute stuff, schoolwork will pile up. Not that I'd like to care, but thinking that it DOES matter to the grades at the end I curse and spit fire and drag them out to clear them again.

School's horrible. I don't even have time to go out and chill out with friends ANYMORE manz. Nummore. Ok lah not that I have anyone to go out with ANYWAY. Cuz everyone's BUSY also. The social life I used to have now equates to nearly zero.

Believe it, just now I was on the verge of accepting another tuition assignment. I must be mad!!!

Just to post my reply to Peng's "what if cash ceased to be a problem" question, it's to quit school immediately and travel the world. Seriously. And I bet I'm not the only one. Lol.

Manz. Headache now. Literally.

Okay back to bloody assignments.

What the hell.

2009-03-18T14:56:00.002+08:00

I'm actually crafting out an entire WORLD.
How exciting is that!

Trashed and Scattered

2009-03-11T22:35:00.003+08:00

Was browsing imeem and this was the first A7X song that appeared, so I decided to put it up here.

Then I decided to put the lyrics here. The music's amazing!

Before someone like gorgor comments on how emo it is, let me reiterate, "the MUSIC'S amazing!" LOL!

Alright, here are the lyrics:

Keep on writing you're just raping yourself
(nothing can take my mind away from them)
Don't you ask about me, ask 'bout somebody else
(Once I've fallen there's many stories to tell)
I can't feel it, won't embrace it, it's overwhelming how far ya take it (stuck in a state of questioning)
And don't you tell me you know we' re destined,
you won't convince me, I won't listen
(Resentment building, you've put our lives on hold)

Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste breath while fuckin' with me, my blood is so cold
My destinations always are known, I'll find my way there
but Goddamn Motherfuckers always wasting my time

I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control

Play your game, and walk away your integrity don't mean shit
Crawl on me you fucking parasite, and I'm gonna take you out

Label me, that's fine, I'll be somebody else
(Nothing in front of me but holes ahead)
Lie about my life, have a story to tell
(Lights went down, was on the edge and I fell)
Oh you're so insightful, let me remind you to twist and break me,
should make you worried
(Long way to go and you're right there)
Two-faced liar, don't try and know me,
deceit brings fire, makes sure you can't breathe
(Pick at pieces of my body below)

I never bothered with all the rumors, too much garbage (all the same)
I'll stand right here, come on you falsehood deceitful liar
(There's no shame)
Don't ever take my side, I know you're never right, I'll justify the means (Nothing's what it seems)
I'll stand around and fight, but there's no point tonight,
been chained to this machine

Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste your breath while fuckin' with me, my blood is so cold
My destination is always unknown, I'll find my way there
but Goddamn Impostor are you out of your mind?

walk down these roads alone and now you're seen here
My feelings that I'm having towards you are perfectly clear (I control this ride)
My devils appetite is tonight and now I'm alright
But you Goddamn Motherfuckers always wasting my time

Play your game you'd better walk away cause your integrity don't mean shit
Crawl on me you fucking parasite, and I'm gonna take you out

I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control

Don't try and get the best of me (No one can help but your own self)
City makes my body ache (Lonely, don't try to prey on me)x2
I feel your world keep dying, no more use in tryin'
And my body's trashed and low,
but to you I'll never show myself for what's inside
And I've seen it all before but I'll settle the score,
I'll never join your side

It's a super long close-to-6-minute song. So the lyrics are super long also. Lol. Never mind at least it makes this blog post LOOK like a substantial blog post. Haha...

I just LOVE the shredding! Even the rhythms are super NICE! And very masculine. =D

Soon it shall be over!

2009-03-11T00:27:00.002+08:00

I rub my hands together with glee as sparkling thoughts of approaching the end of my second year penetrated my conscious state of mine now. HOHOHO! This sem has passed too fast, am more tired than I was last sem though I was kinda busier last sem, but thinking that this shall be the case for the next semester and the next, it's a bloody good thing cuz I can FINALLY escape the clutches of school! FINALLY! Maybe take an interrupted cadential point, maybe go on a little trip, do something I like and more... before settling down for the next section of life which spells, "You are doomed to this seat in this cubicle typing this dead-skin coated keyboard and staring your eyes out at the flashing screen in front of you, day in and day out!"

But really, at this moment in time, as long as it doesn't spell "You are doomed to spinsterhood without even anything called 'boyfriend' (much less hubby), pushing all plans of the-big-M-before-25 down the gutter, drain, deep abyss of nothingness, living the rest of your life a loner!" I'm actually pretty ok with it. Well, pretty ok at this moment in time only. I might change my mind next time. Lol.

Looking at a much nearer future, I find that the attachment probably would be a great chance to get me away from campus (and chicken rice everyday cuz I hate queuing up at long and slow queues) for quite a few months. Of course it won't be completely devoid of study (for there are two self-study modules we'd have to take), but at least it's better than... well, now.

And come the FINAL semester when time will pass as quickly as it does now, then I will be preparing for my photoshoot with grad robes on me! Mwahahaha!

Wishful thinking manz. Still another long (or short) one year plus to go.

I will have to go for a lecture about 11 hours later, but at my level of tiredness, I have decided not to. Take a break, give myself more time, since I can't obtain 48 hours a day. :)

Alright, I'm going to sleep soon cuz my eyelids weigh a ton now.

Music is food for the soul

2009-03-07T15:49:00.002+08:00

As the prophets shed the light on what's to come
The crowds did gather
Your time is precious, they explained
No time to worry, messiah's coming

It is always comforting to listen to harmonious music. The interweaving melodies of polyphony, the dissonances resolved to cadential points; and all the fermata, rubato, alternating solo and tutti phrases! Amazing...

... and even more so when everything resolves at the end into a dramatic Perfect Cadence. Chord five to chord one. Ahhh. It's like heaving a big sigh at the end. Conductor waves the closing signal. Fade to silence. Triumphant.

Don't go to sleep tonight, darling
Hold me in your arms
These will be our final days and I can't let go...

Tragedies

2009-03-06T21:30:00.002+08:00

It's horribly tragic, to hear about two deaths in two universities, two days apart.

First was the NTU incident. Two of my friends whose boyfriends are studying in NTU heard of the news first and smsed them, who in turn told me about the incident. It came in the middle of my last lecture of the day. It was extremely shocking, though some of us were actually joking about the education system being too stressful and so on. I don't know what could be the cause of his action, but the fact that he jumped off the building was very tragic (or so I thought).

The second was the one from my campus. He was an exchange student, who actually came for one of our IMHope sessions before. At first, when I saw the email I didn't read it very seriously, until I saw "second year neurobio student", and -name of his uni-, then I checked the name again and i was like, omg it IS him! Very shocking. He was such a nice and bubbly guy...

Tragedies...

2009-03-01T21:47:00.003+08:00

Well well. I'll need a notebook with me wherever I go, to jot down notes for Rainbow. These ideas will just pop up in my mind out of the blue. Not so much the plot, but more of the culture of this new world I'm gonna create. Lol!

Three cheers to the three of us! =D

Scream

2009-02-27T23:27:00.003+08:00

Crazy. This is crazy. Bro, you are crazy. I think I am crazy too. Lol. Everyone involved in this monstrous undertaking is insane. But yet I can't wait for this to kick off! I believe there will be a point when things will go down, I already foresee it, as it always happens even in the most famous of stories. But nevertheless I appreciate the enthusiasm of you guys! :) I shan't post up the details as mentioned in the previous post, but I will share them in private with you all. :)

All the best to all of us! Project Rainbow!

Seven, the Magic Number.

2009-02-27T18:41:00.003+08:00

Thinking back, it is simply amazing how much time I had spent just drafting out the setting and names of various places for my silly 7-series. I finally dug out my notebook with all the notes I made (ain't a lot, but still pretty much info) while thinking of my then-amazing story, which afterwards I found lousy and silly. Lol. I had gotten down to planning the very BIG picture of the story, and started writing the first 15(?) pages of it, but left off cuz it was too massive a project to undertake.

The reason why I chose to have "7" in a series is because I think rainbows are really pretty, and the entire series would actually follow in the order of the 7 colours. Yup, and the series is actualyl called "The Rainbow Series" until a better name for it would be coined. The books in the series are named according to every letter of "RAINBOW" (which happens to be 7 letters too):

Reach
Amber
Image
Nexus
Beans
O'Nick
Waste

Notice all are made up of 5 letters. Yup, searched the dictionary just to find them, though they aren't very difficult words to think of. Lol. Colours have meanings, and I have actually gone and researched about what each colour means and adapted into possible elements of the story-plot. Being pretty interested in horoscopes, I have also searched about how each color is related to each sign, and how each sign is related to the 4 seasons. All of which will thus link to each culture of the 7 lands (umm something like continents).

Written in the next post shall be the names of characters (I found one male and female name that starts with each and every letter of the English alphabet), places (haven't found all 26 but a few, with pretty cool fantasy-story-ish names too!), colours (that would be significant in the story, etc. etc.

And of course this was the story where I tell people I get the name "Faluine" from. :) And yup "Faluine" consists of seven letters too! She is the main character and a very blessed girl in the story. :)

If there is just one person (any person) who is interested in my lists of names and places etc. I'll be posting them up next. If not, these stuff will just fade into oblivion once again. :)

Wanna be a millionaire?

2009-02-26T22:00:00.005+08:00

Slumdog Millionaire definitely didn't win 8 Oscars for nothing! :) I recommend EVERYONE to watch it, it's really good. One of the best movies I've ever watched in my life!

Moody Monday

2009-02-23T23:37:00.003+08:00

I feel it burn inside
Burn in me like the rising sun

I'm tired.

There I go again. It shall never stop, never end, it shall go on and on and on. I need to stop feeling tired, damn it! It has become a complaint too often that sometimes I wonder if I am really tired, or if I am just plain lazy. I am lazy? Am I lazy? Often I question myself that; yeah, especially during those times when I feel that nothing I ever do is enough. Not today, though.

Today I went out to town (yup, instead of starting on solid schoolwork) to submit the exam application for my student. Found the place without much difficulty, but the problem was that it was raining. Well, drizzling. I don't like it when the dirty water gets into my already slippery shoes and makes in uncomfortable to walk in. I'd prefer to walk either barefooted in rainwater, or with shoes under the sun (except for on the beach, of course).

Then I finally bought a pen tablet for myself, at a pretty reasonable price of $49. Ain't very big, but it's just nice for my table. Interesting to use! I'll be experimenting with it for the whole of this week if time permits. :) Ain't gotten used to it yet.

Then I went to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Didn't have that many amazing reviews from friends, so was quite skeptical of my choice initially, but oh boy, I'd never regret watching that show. It was awesome! It speaks of life, death, parting, meeting; everything is so meaningful and touching that I could not help but shed tears in the later part of the movie. It is a movie worth watching. It makes you stop and think for a while. Never mind the length of the show -- it's the depth that counts. And this is one deep show indeed.

Watch it!

And now I should be getting down to doing my lab report. I have no inspiration to speak of, and now that I realised, lab-reporting isn't about inspiration. It's just factual reporting. So what am I doing here slacking the time away? I don't feel like using my brain now, not at all. I shall be off to bed in a minute.

So darken your clothes, and strike a violent pose
Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me!

Sleepy Sunday

2009-02-22T23:23:00.002+08:00

Passion in my eyes
I lived it everyday

SO. I'm slacking here with MSN on, WMP on, blog open, facebook, hotmail and lyrics pages open on a cool Sunday night. Lol. With the impending recess week, no, the impending tests and deadlines, I have absolutely no mood to start on any solid work just yet. I was just happily promoting quotes from A7X's songs to JW to be put into his stories, and am thoroughly enjoying myself. =D I shall influence my loving of these types of music on people. Mwahahaha. But it is real that the nicest quotes may appear in the unlikeliest of places. :)

So tomorrow shall be the start of salvation of my Chemistry stuff. :( Or so I hope.

But before that I shall just indicate here that (if I remember) I'll be putting up lyrics before and after each blog post to colour it. Disclaimer here says that them lyrics ain't me own, they belong to other people, and they ain't reflectin' no mood of mine at the moment of posting. So there you go.

How it ends I'll never know
Just live your life blind like me

Embrace these same dark times...

2009-02-22T00:36:00.002+08:00

I'll do anything for a smile
Holding it till our time is done...

Aren't the above two lines like the sweetest things on Earth? Well if only...

Ah-ha! I have been busy for the past week that I nearly couldn't breathe. O_O Anyway here's my week in brief (breathe!):

Sunday: Tuition, Lydia's 21st birthday during which I ran into some of my sec sch friends, rushed home, rushed lab report and very distractedly discussed project proposal online

Monday: Felt a little tired from the previous night's reporting and had quite a long day, followed by ultra shiong last minute reportin'.

Tuesday: Had a super tiring lab session from 10am to 6+pm (with only a half-hour lunch break in between), after which I rushed all the way with Penguin back to someplace near his flat (yeah I know I have many "animal" friends). Cuz I got tuition there. Without dinner! Only ate dinner at around 9plus, and at that time my hunger pangs somehow... went away already. Haha. It's like that at times, you get so hungry that after not eating for a while your stomach just shrinks and stops growling and refuses to digest much food (sulking? haha).

Wednesday: Only one lesson for the day but I was TIRED! Goodness. Had Jux meeting until 8.30pm and you can imagine, I was totally bushed after that. Some more got two tests the next day plus a short presentation @ 8am on calculations for our experiment, which Budgie and I haven't figured out yet! Arrgh!

Thursday: Yup, there were the two tests on this long busy day...

Friday: Morning: internship interview (I got in!), afternoon: SS tutorial, evening-night: volunteer appreciation dinner.

Saturday: tuition, rushed down for volunteer session, followed by dinner.

OMGosh. Very heavy and rushed week. Cannot take it anymore. Fortunately for me Sunday afternoon will be free (after morning tuition) and next week is the RECESS WEEK! I haven't started thinking of my plans for the recess week (likely to be more work than play, duh) and I don't wanna think about it now. NO WAY. I need a lot a lot of rest now.

Oh please... release me let me go... cuz I don't owe you anymoreeeee. Lol. I don't owe school a living. Dun like school. Sometimes it feels like school is interfering with all the things I want to do (though in actual fact, those hobbies of mine are the ones interfering with my schoolwork -- I don't wanna think of them that way!). Damn.

I see my vision burn
I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
A memory, a melody, or just one picture...

DAMN.

2009-02-10T23:27:00.002+08:00

I really really cannot believe it's close to the middle of the semester already. Darn it! I don't feel like I've learnt a lot. Neither do I feel like I've studied a lot. Besides, lab has just started last week and then while I am supposed to be getting down to thinking about my lab report, suddenly I need to start thinking about my mid-terms as well. Gosh. MID-TERMS. So soon!

As I am getting slightly irritated by my dry eyes, let me just note down my new year's resolution. Yeah I know that it's EXTREMELY late to create new year's resolutions but since I didn't do so before New Year's Day, I shall just start today and add on as I move along the year.

So my resolution would be TO LEARN DRUMS.

Jo the budgie wanna learn it too, so I shall probably go look around for a nice teacher with her. And this means I'll have to work doubly hard to pay for the lessons and........ A DRUM SET! No digital one if I can help it, please! I want the actual ones. = work TRIPLY hard. Wow. Just today I saw ads on new tuition assignments. Hmm. -ponders-

Argh. I just wish I could curb my addiction to music and musical instruments (I once had a crazy idea to buy all sorta instruments that exist and donate my room to the storage of such. Siao.) but I think a drumset I definitely want to own! But in any case the likely result is that I'll just allow it to collect dust rather than play it professionally. Life. Is. Too. Hectic. for all these things. -ultra saddened- Or perhaps, turn my room into a jamming studio for RENT. Hohoho! Free music to listen to. xD

Anyway I was gonna give my two cents' worth about people who diss others' music. I didn't have the time to blog it out last night. But after thinking about it (yes I think a lot about stuff related to music) I decided not to write so much until the next person pisses me off with those criticisms (stuff like "I have officially come here to tell you not to listen to so-and-so's music cuz in my very strong and correct opinion, they suck and they look and sound like fags" --not the original quote, more of a combination of quotes). Hello, I shall be here to officially demand some respect for people's hard work in making such music then. Respect! And while you have time to diss people's music, why don't you prove your betterness by making yourself famous with YOUR most correct type of music? And then diss those people AFTER you've achieved that fame.

Really, these people...

Well peace out before a brawl starts here.

I shall continue staring at my polymer results and think of how to treat them.

*By the way, made polystyrene plastic (really those transparent kind) after lots of inhaling styrene and toluene fumes. Lol. So cute.

I don't feel myself...

2009-02-08T16:10:00.003+08:00

Today. It's like I'm still floating around in mid air, unsettled, the slightest hint of vertigo, sorta thing...

The pull of rock music, ever so strong. Is it just my rebellious streak, or is it really what I want? Tough question.

Now check out this nice song:

Amazing guitar solo!!!

The amazing duet!=D

I just found Syn Gates guitar lessons on youtube. Whee~

The sidewinder

2009-02-04T21:18:00.005+08:00

I shall make it a goal to master the beautiful, virtuosic solo of Sidewinder, which occurs around 1min from the end of the song. It's so nice! It was part of which made me fall in love with that song so immensely, the Mexican-sounding exchange between Vengeance and Gates (respectively, refer below).

Lookit! The two guitar geniuses!

They make the perfect duet, if you listen carefully to their music. NEVER a single note missed.

Oh and may I add that I love Gates' guitar too? :)

Enough with music for the day. This is no fangirl syndrome, mind, cuz I'm addicted not to the guys, but to their MUSIC. Take note. Hehe!

Now I've realised that there ain't no lab report to be done this week! Woohoo! Guess that explains why I've time to blog right now. Umm actually I should be studying for my test now. Oops! Got a test tomorrow...

Ah and something random: I just LOVE people who make me laugh. Adam Sandler, Owen Wilson, some cute friends... they're all so impossibly adorable! And they light up my life! =D Yay...

Right. Should be getting back to my polymers...

I tell you, A7X is awesomness!

2009-02-03T17:46:00.003+08:00

Dark, light, intense, uplifting, depressing, passionate music

With a touch of lyricism and amazing harmony

Splashes of feeling

Accompanied by strong, macho rhythms

Solos soft as silk and hard as diamond

Fast fingers, fast arms, powerful voice.

I just love these two songs:

I slide through the wasteland that's my world
My hunger takes your life, preyed on to keep me alive, yeah
Mercy's all that you need, mercy's empty in me

Can't you feel the poison rising out of the morning and into the night
You can feel my strength destroy you straight to the heart from the venomous bite

That's right I shed my skin tonight but my fangs are hard to hide
And you know that you're going to die, yeah
Mercy's all that you need, mercy's empty in me

Can't you feel the poison rising out of the morning and clear through the night
You can feel my strength destroy you straight to the heart from the venomous bite

I can't regret, can't escape decisions made for me, no control
Fire that burns but never dies, wrapped around I'll bury my fangs inside

Making my way through the night you're still in my sight
You're runnin' away cuz ya know you can't hide
My instincts are cold blooded hate; to you I'm the bearer of fate
Wrong place and now the wrong time, now terror is all that you'll find

Can't you feel the poison rising, straight to the heart of the venomous bite...

Cant you feel the poison rising, out of the morning and clear through the night
You can feel my strength destroy you straight to the heart from the venomous bite

I can't regret, can't escape decisions made for me, no control
Fire that burns but never dies, wrapped around I'll bury my fangs inside

Stay inside tonight - you're out there all alone
Vanish from my sites - venomous control
You won't make it right- my appetite has grown
Lost the final fight - no love will be shown

Stay inside tonight - you're out there all alone
Vanish from my sites - venomous control
You can't make it right - my appetite has grown
Lost the final fight - no love will be shown

AND

My story starts the day they said "she can't be found"
the news so dark, heart stopped, stood silent without a sound
It's over, she's finished, mother lies with your father and sister too
Cold-blooded, they suffered, shot down by the outlaws after you
Sorrow swallows my screams

Strength of the world! - is on my shoulders
Strength of the world! - is on my side
Strength of the world! - the one true beholder
Ice in my veins! - for those who've died

I've seen my family fade away, you've taken my whole life
There's nothing left to say

Avenged the dead killed all who cross me in my path
Suicidal, I've never planned on coming back
I want it, I need it, revenge is dripping from my teeth
Need nothin', to feel power, and bring the killers to their knees
Nothin' to lose vengeance to gain (you know I'll never be the same)
So taste my breath I'm close behind you (so desperate on your final day)
Sorrow swallows my screams

Strength of the world! - is on my shoulders
Strength of the world! - is on my side
Strength of the world! - the one true beholder
Ice in my veins! - for those who've died

I've seen my family fade away, you've taken my whole life
There's nothing left to say

Sitting in silence with heaven above me I prayed every night by their graves
While I search for closure I feel it no longer
I can't turn my cheek away
I stand before you , I'll sin when I have to
But now I leave your side, to avenge my family's pride

I've seen my family fade away, you've taken my whole life
There's nothing left to say

Strength of the world! - is on my shoulders
Strength of the world! - is on my side
Strength of the world! - the one true beholder
Ice in my veins! - for those who've died

So far forever now alone, a greater punishment on me has been imposed
A killer falling from the light, I miss my family, I'll never be alright

Thats all that she wrote

μοναξιά...

2009-02-02T23:12:00.002+08:00

Hoho hiatus! Just finished an online discussion and am supposed to finish my prelab.

I shall be scaling the steep slope of slog in no time (especially when lab reports start flooding in)!

... at times like this it grows at an exponential rate...

... and it's Sunday again.

2009-02-01T15:28:00.002+08:00

Why! I didn't seem to have done much over the weekend. Gah. I went to Chingay yesterday and it was pretty and colourful! Pictures here and here. There were fireworks and they were nice! It lasted around 2min30s and I uploaded it here. Near the beginning of the performance there was this Dragon Dance performance on stage with splashes of sparks from all four corners of the stage. Amazing. I caught glimpses of the throwers and saw that actually, one person picks up something from a can and throws it towards another guy, who smacks it hard so it bursts into the splashes. You can see it here. And they set off firecrackers too! Can you imagine how LOUD the firecrackers were! Omg. Deafening. Wanna watch? It's here!

I had wanted to go to Cityalive right after the parade, but we had to re-queue to enter, and there was a HUGE crowd. If there's a top twenty list of things I dislike, "large crowds" and "queueing" would make it to the chart. Uncle R was one of the judges for the dance competition at Funkamania. Saw him on the Hippo Tours bus and he came down to meet us for a while.

Something random before going off to do my pre-lab: I think fortune-telling is interesting. Hmm... I just acquired two new decks of playing cards!

-looks at lab manual and cringes-

赤壁(下)...

2009-01-30T22:53:00.002+08:00

... was good! Very very good! Zhuge Liang still so funny, battle scenes extremely amazing, 兵法真值得赞叹！Never imagined the people in history were so good at planning and strategy. But it was extremely bloody. Not the movie, I refer to the warfare... so many people died...

Why is the official Red Cliff site a Jap site? Hmm...

Tomorrow I shall be going to Chingay parade! Full of colour, full of light...

AND FULL OF PEOPLE.

Sentosa Flowers '09

2009-01-28T17:27:00.001+08:00

Yup I went for the flower exhibition and it was pretty!

Get the pics here (you need to log in to facebook, I think).

The weather was sweltering hot even though I wore little, the crowd was SUPER irritating (I totally hate crowds), and I didn't get to see every exhibit. Nevertheless there were many pretty flowers that really tempted me to pluck them. Lol. Of course I didn't! On the way back to mainland, the monorail (it's now called "Sentosa Express" but I ain't used to it) was totally tuna. Nearly couldn't breathe and every breath I took in stank of people's sweat odour. Imagine the experience!

~~~

But well, it's Back to School today and luckily I have only one lecture for the day, after which I left and went home. Was supposed to see the doc for my lips but didn't in the end. I'll be waiting for my Neutrogena this Friday!

Hmm so what happened to my lips? I don't know! First the upper lip started peeling and was itchy, a few months later (during which I thought I was only getting dry lips and the itch was due to the skin growing back) it spread to the lower lip and now the lower lip is discoloured. Yuck. And occasionally there's this burning feeling and sometimes they feel sore, like mouth ulcers or something. -cringe-

I don't want to see the campus doc cuz they'll probably just tell me "oh it's normal, just let it be and it'll heal". Yeah, who doesn't know that? I want instant remedy! :(

~~~

School shall be on to full blast from now on. Sigh. The only delight of school is probably friends, and of course I totally hate exams and all those tests. And it seems that for the tests, if I score well for it, it ends up not being counted in the CA, and if I don't do well in it, it eventually will be counted towards the final mark. They're doing it on purpose!!! :'(

This sem there're two projects to do (lots to write and edit), but fortunately only 4 final exams. Hopefully I cope better and fare better too.

~~~

Some lucky dude is currently on the plane bound to Manchester. T_T I want to go too!!!

I wonder when I'll ever get a chance to go Europe to play...

First post on CNY eve

2009-01-25T23:38:00.001+08:00

Hmm well I have been looking for a nice date to start my blog but I haven’t really gotten down to starting it. I guess CNY eve is auspicious enough. Heehee… I hope I can keep this blog going for at least a while, now that I’m taking one less module as compared to the past two semesters (no promises though, for I am a lazy person, aye).

Had two reunion dinners in two days. Yesterday it was with the IMHopians, today is with family. Yesterday’s spread was much nicer but today I learnt a lot from Uncle J about touring in Europe! Whee~ my dream holiday destination!

New Year’s resolution: save up loads of $ so I can go with him to Europe!